You're jokes

Your hairline goes back to when your dad left you.

Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.

Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"

Spiderman: "Yes."

Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."

Spiderman: "Why?"

Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

An American bully goes up to an English kid and says, "You're ugly!"

And the English kid says, "Well, wanna know why you can't play Jenga?"

"Why?" says the bully.

"Because you haven't got a tower."

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

What do women and KFC have in common?

After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.

What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?

They both come while you’re asleep.

What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?

They’re both in my bed.

What joke could orphan's never understand?

Your Mom jokes.

What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.

You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.

Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?

Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

God: You're gonna have 2 parents.

Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.

You're so skinny that the professor thought you were the skeleton.

You look sexy with that rope around your neck.

(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents

Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.

Midget: Hey! What’s up?

Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.