You're jokes

A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."

The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."

"Thanks Dad," the son says.

The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?

Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

I was walking till I saw a kid sitting on the street. I walked over there and said, "Where are your parents?" He cried even more.

Oh, I just love talking to orphans.

Your mom said, "Can you get to the dick game?"

Finally, some social platform where you can talk about Muslims and not get bombed.

Obv, unless you share your residence.

Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"

Because he needs to pick your balls.

Do you know Candice?

Nope.

Candice dick fit in your mouth.

Dad: Here you go son, all your toys have gone to the orphanage.

Son: Why, Dad?

Dad: You would be bored there if there was not anything to do.

Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!

Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.

Father: I am taking your toys to the orphanage.

Son: Why?

Father: You’ll need them there.

The trip from your eyebrow to your hairline costs $6000.

Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"

Me: power button.

Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.

Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.

What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?

Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.

What’s the best way to get people to remember your birthday? Kill yourself.