You're jokes
Why do you never see a gay person in a wheelchair?
Because once you're a fruit, you can't be a vegetable.
Yo mama so fat, she stand on the scale and the scale says: "I want your weight, not your phone number!"
You're a bish, and you are too!
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
You're so short that I had to ask God why he made you short-ass toothpick legs.
Do you know the number one cause of death for lesbians?
Getting your fingers stuck in there.
Your forehead is so big it blocked my phone service!
Your hairline is so ugly, I thought you were Shrek!
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
Me, calls the police*
Me: Hey, I'm gonna commit suicide!
Cop on the phone: Please wait till we get there.
Me: Why, so you can then stop me?
Cop on the phone: No, we just want a murder, not a suicidal report on your paper... and we are all bored!
Me: Ok, my house number is *********************, ok!
Cop on the phone: Awesome! Just a sec. *whispers* Guys, I finally found someone who wants to get killed!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
Q: What do you use on your tuba when it breaks?
A: Tuba-glue.
Friend, your mum's fat.
Me: Well, your mum's so fat, she played pool with the planets.
What is the funniest joke of all time?
Your face.
The fact that I am high won't stop me from advising you.
Don't plug your phone while charging it; it is very dangerous.
Don't you hate it when you sit on your balls? It's a real nutcracker!
"Why is your head big?"
"'Cause you're a ball."
Why did the ground crack? Because of your mum!
Y'all are so rude on here. If you don't like what I put on MY profile, you can click your rude ass off of my profile and look at some other fucking jokes. DO NOT INTERACT WITH ME IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING RUDE TO SAY ABOUT ME!
What the difference between a priest and acne
Acne waits till your 13 to cum on your face