You're jokes
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when I push my autistic brother down the stairs.
What flowers are on your face?
"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."
My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!
*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*
"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
God: You're gonna have 2 parents.
Orphan: Double it and give it to the next person.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
A teacher says, "If you have one dollar and your parents give you 5 dollars, how much do you have?"
Everyone raised their hands except for a little girl in the front, but the teacher called on her anyway.
The girl said, "My parents left me, so I would have one dollar."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
Christopher Walkin: "This is a literal universal remote! It actually controls your life! You can pause, you can rewi-"
Me: power button.
Your hairline receded like the girls did after the party.
Your hairline is so far back it was friends with the dinosaurs!
Yo mama is so ugly that your dad has to be drunk to bring her home.