You're jokes

Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.

One day my mom told me to take out the trash, and I did. The next day, mom asked me, "Where is your sister?" and I said, "A garbage truck took her." Mom started running to try and get the truck before it left.

I hope your cookie is too big to fit in your glass of milk.

"You're an orphan forever," - Harry Potter.

Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!

The other day, I walked up to someone who looked lost and he had all scraggy clothes on. I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yeah, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents, buddy."

I know what you did with your mom last night, the orphan. Nah, jit trippin', you thought I had one?

Your mom is so ugly, she made the devil go to church.

Your forehead is so big, I bet your dreams are in IMAX.

Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!

Do you like pudding? Pudding deez nuts in your mouth!

I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.

"Lemme clap your girl's booty cheeks, daddy papi."

My boy, I think it is about time that I leave this world. Now draw your weapon and kill me now!

*draws a picture of his "epic" sword*

"What... WHAT... WTH ARE YOU DOING SIMPLETON? I DIDN'T MEAN THAT KIND OF DRAW!"

I joined ISIS to help my self-esteem issues.

Everyone kept telling me, "You’re the bomb!"

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

A nickname to call your short GF:

Little ankle biter Master Yoda Hasbula My little Ewok

How to escape your black school teacher in detention?

(Easy)

Turn off the lights!

There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

What's the difference between a grenade and your wife? There's none. Take out the ring and half of the house is gone.