You jokes
How do you make Alabama cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat for three hours.
Do you know a funny bus driver? I do.
What do you call a bad joke?
A bad Noah!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Because all I do is pound it, man. I would put you on my "600 Pound Life" if you didn't weigh 1,000.
Pickup line: Are you the internet? 'Cause I feel a connection.
A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
Scientist time travels into the year 2024.
Scientist: So, what happened with the storming of Area 51?
Pedestrian: Oh, you mean The 51 Massacre?
You might find this joke a rib-tickler, but I sure do.
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant lady?
Answer: You can unscrew a lightbulb, but you can’t unscrew a lady.
Hi, how are you? Busy doing right? I just texted. Me and my dad were just texting.
What do you call a cow with no leg?
What's the difference between a baby and a pizza?
One does not crow when you put it in an oven.
What time is it when you get home, can walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home?
🏡 night time and I can drive to the car tomorrow night.
What did a tree do for a human rights day at a tree?
I had no time today after a night with you today, but you walk away.
Brother: Your eyebrows look hella bad.
Sister: I don’t even think you know what eyebrows are supposed to look like because you have none.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?"
"Ash."
"Ash who?"
"Bless you!"
What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed?
McBongald's.
If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.
Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”
Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”
Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”