You jokes

What do you call a bunch of llamas?

Alpaca llama.

What do orphans, parents, and a ball have in common?

If you throw them, they both will never come back.

A blind man walks into a bar and starts to swing his guide dog around his head. The bartender asks him nervously, "Are you okay?" The blind man replies, "Yeah, I’m just looking around!"

What do you get when a topless blonde rubs sun tanning oil on a topless brunette?

Your camera.

I was looking at our Human Services Minister and thinking I'm surprised he's married.

The things you do for your cousins!

Motherhood is like a fairy tale, but in reverse. You start out in a beautiful ball gown and end up in stained rags cleaning up after little people.

Are you made of Gold, Titanium, Sulfur, Titanium, and Carbon?

'Cause damn, you lookin' kinda Au Ti S Ti C.

Q: What do you call a little girl without arms and legs?

A: Names.

My priest asked if anyone had any questions or anything interesting they wanted to say.

So I raised my hand, he said why don’t you tell everyone what you have to say.

In front of the whole church I said I did not know Jesus Christ was the first scarecrow.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs?

The 2028 US election.

Why shouldn't you trust trees? Because they seem shady.

What do you call a rapper who's also a scientist?

RHYME-STEIN.

If you don't like my spelling, Explain Bear, have you realized I'm a duck and you are a bear? I've got more internet power and meme power, so shut the duck up and get a life and stay off my property and the internet.

Boys: “Hey, can Billy come out and play baseball?”

Mom: “That would be fine, but he hasn’t come out of his room since Friday.”

Boys: “Have you checked the closet?”

If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 2.5-hour Energy?

What do you call a peso?

A wetback greenback.

What do you call a bunch of Black people in the river?

A black current...

So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"