You jokes

Attention, everyone: I will be leaving this website. Thank you everybody who has been nice to me. Maybe I’ll come back in the future, but for now: Goodbye.

How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.

Guys, if you saw a post from someone pretending to be me, don't listen to them.

I'm just going to be out for 3 days, or maybe for a month break. There are a lot of fakers.

I love you papi's! No homo.

As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"

What do you call a monkey in a mine field?

BaBOOM!

Are you a haunted house?

Cuz I am gonna be screaming when I come inside you.

What do you call a group of depressed teenagers?

Suicide Squad.

What do you call a Democrat that is a progressive?

A Democrat that lost in a presidential election.

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."

Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?

That depressed kid in class: Dead.

To Mr. Nice Guy, you are nice, sweet, and caring! I am so grateful to be your friend!

If you punch an orphan, they can't do anything; they can't tell their parents.

What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?

Bubble 007.

You.

If you need help, you will need trash, 'cause you the trash.

What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener!

My bf: Knock knock.

Me: Who's there?

My bf: Ice cream.

Me: Ice cream who?

My bf: I scream if you don't let me see that smoking hot body!

You know, "f" in orphan stands for family.