You jokes

Two guys were on a hunting trip, and after the first day of hunting, they didn’t see anything, so they decided the next day they would split up and meet back at the fire at dinner time.

After a day of hunting, they meet back at the fire, and one hunter asked the other, “How did your day go?”

The one hunter said, “I had the best day ever! I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever. We had sex for hours in every position you could think of.”

Then the other hunter asked him, “Was she a good lookin’ blond?” And he said, “Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t find her head.”

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

What’s the difference between toilet paper and a curtain?

So, it was you....

What do you call a flooded hospital?

Vegetable soup.

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

What's brown and sticky?

What did you think! A stick......

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

I would have told you about a chemistry joke, but I wouldn't get a reaction.

I would tell you a cat pun, but it's too purr-fect to share.

What happens if you sit under a cow?

You get a pat on the head.

What do you call a Krispy Kreme Donut combined with a Big Mac from McDonalds?

A Krispy Kreme Mac.

Opponent fist attacks your face, no you can not activate a trap card.

Where do you go when food dies?

A fooderal.

What do you call a chicken that was cared for? A tendered chicken.

What does a doctor do to make you better?

Helium.

How do you stop a baby from crawling on the floor?

Nail one hand to the ground...

How do you stop it from crawling in circles? Nail the other hand to the floor.

When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!

What happens when you cross a pig and karate?

A pork chop!

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?

It depends how hard you throw them.

Your mom is so fat, every time she turns around, it's her birthday.