You jokes

What do you call a brave octopus? Octobrave.

What do you call a bad "egg" meme?

Deep fried!

I was eating this girl out the other day and I tasted horse semen... I looked up at the girl and said “that’s how you died, grandma!”

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eyed deer.

What do u call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no balls? Still no f*#$in eyed deer.

Note to all.

My name is Lariah. Lariah Carla Brown, 14 years old and I am 1 of triplets. I don't understand how rape jokes are funny, and I just want to make that statement clear. I also hate orphan jokes because I WAS one. Notice when I put WAS! I also see jokes about cancer, now I know you can't be kidding. You know that cancer is a disease that many people get and could die from, so you are just wrong about that!

A black lady goes inside the drug store on Eight Mile Road in the city of Detroit, Michigan, and asks the pharmacist, "I would like to buy a box of tampons."

And then the black lady is asked by the pharmacist, "Do you want to buy the box of mini pads, or do you want to buy the box of maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

Teacher: *calls you up to the board*. You: Ok. *Gets intense boner* *has to fart really bad* You: F***!!!!!!!

What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?

The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid Blanket?

What would you call a cover for your cock?

Day 70 without sex, my doctor asked me, "Are you sexually active?" I said, "Why, what you tryna do?"

Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

What do you call a snowman that lives in Halloween? Snoween!

What do you call a bunch of microcephalics in a swimming pool?

Vegetable soup.

How do you punish a blind kid?

Move to a new house.

You wanna hear a joke?

Two Emos hanging out under a tree.

How many Emos does it take to commit suicide? Way too fucking many, because they never get it right the first time!

Emos are weird to me because they dress up all black, and you know I don't like that, so that's why I don't like it.

How do you put a baby alien to sleep?

You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀

"Fatherless jokes aren't funny, you know."

Dear doctor,

I've heard it's a good sign when women scream your first name during sex, but recently women have been screaming my full name. It's weird, I feel like I'm famous. Can you tell me what this means?

Yours Truly, Ray Palp

Spell "I C U P." I see you pee.