You jokes

Brother 2: We have these weird circles on the street! Government is tracking us!!!

Brother 1: They are just to sense cars so they can change lights. And it's the government.

Brother 2: Then why are there two in the left turn lane?

Brother 1: So one car isn't always going left and stopping the others.

Brother 2: Then why are they one car apart? Oh, to have three people going.

Brother 1: Correct. When I see one car on the first, I go on the second so my light changes.

Brother 2: You monster.

Brother 1: I wonder if they trigger by weight?

Brother 2: HA. Yo mama would trigger the sensor.

Brother 1: ARG. It's OUR MAMA you're disrespecting.

Mother (brother 1): What's going on boys? *looks in mirror* HOLY SH@& SHE IS PRETTY!

Brother 2: I think you should take your pills.

Brother 1: Found them.

*imaginary mother and brother fade away*

Thank you ELECTROBOOM for inspiring this joke/sh!t. Go subb to him.

Btw the (1) means it is just imaginary brother one acting like another brother.

What did the girl say to the white guy? “You have a peener wiener!”

You know where I get my soda? Mini-soda.

I have something on my lip and I think I’m taller than you.

"Who am I?"

Why can't you hear a dinosaur clap? They're dead.

What do you say to a pig with no nose? You have n'ought a snout!

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

You smash me so hard, I gave her the D.

If you give this a thumbs down, you're gay. If you give it a thumbs up, you're straight.

What do you call a nun in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile.

What do you call a man with no legs?

Hangman.

Your forehead is so big your soulmate didn't even want you.

You know what a triangle has that women's rights don't? A point.

You're so ugly that you and Adolfo Hitler are like twins.

What do you tell someone who has depression?

Answer: Just hang in there.

How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He read the weather forecast, you fucking idiot!

How can you tell when your sister is on her period?

Your dad's knob tastes funny.

I slip on the wet floor, haha silly water :)

-Kachow!!!!!!!!!!!

-LMQ, You know what comes before lighting? THUNDER KACHIGA

My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.

What is a type of cancer that:

Affects you. Is caused by a device. Is annoying. People won't stop talking about it?

Easy, the answer is Fortnite.