You jokes

If a pirate was a pervert, he would say, “Are you ready, kid?”

What do you call an autistic army special forces?

What do you call a kid in a wheelchair with a gun? RG-XD

POV: You are a passenger on September 11th, 2001, and you see the pilots wearing a Muslim turban.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You make me pee like I drink tea, you make me go buzz, like becoming a fuzz.

It sticks in, but it goes to the bin, after its use, it will be reused, no it is not what your thinking its -~-(clay)-~-

Me: Spanish teacher, why do we need to learn Spanish?

Teacher: Because you might go to Mexico and start a job.

Me: Why would I want to sell drugs?

You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.

You know what orphans and I have in common? Our dads both left for the milk.

I'm throwing an orgy for people on antidepressants.

Let me know if you can't cum.

Are your forehead and hairline friends? 'Cause they go way back.

You look like Megamind, drug dealer.

How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!

What do you call a cat with two legs instead of four?

Dead and without use, that's what I feel like.

How many babies does it take to paint the side of a barn?

Depends on how hard you throw them.

You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.

I’m lost. Can you give me directions to your heart?

Why are friends a lot like snow?

If you pee on them, they disappear.

What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?

The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.

I can tell you used to be friends with your hairline, cuz it goes way back.

Your dad? Oh wait, you don’t have that!