Spot Jokes

Anonymous
in Cheetah

Why can’t a cheetah play hide and seek? Because he’s always spotted

7
Anonymous
in Animal

Why do tigers have stripes? They don’t want to be spotted.

A Ghost...
in Depression

friend: hey,wanna play hid and seek? me:sure, i’ve got a great spot! me: grabs nuce and runs to my closet

Anonymous
in Uranus

hubble just spotted something huge coming out of uranus

The Cheetah
in Cheetah

Did you hear about the cheetah who robbed a bank? He ran away so fast he almost got away with it, but he was spotted.

bernard

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Gwen

Why was the cheetah so bad at hide and seek ? No matter where she hid, she was always spotted.

Anonymous
in Puns

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

Cause he doesn’t want to be spotted.

Anonymous
in Puns

What did the dalmation dog say after he finished his meal?

That hit the spot?

schools be like “dRuGS arE BaD” then prescribe a 6-year-old Adderall for not wanting to sit in the same spot for 8 hours

ZinDo
in Cheetah

Why can’t the cheetah play hide and seek? Because he always spotted

SEX

A sailor drops anchor in a port and heads into the nearest pub. Everyone in the pub is whispering and pointing at him because of his odd shaped body; he has a very muscular body, but a very tiny head on his shoulders. As he orders his drink, he tells the bartender, “I’ll explain. I get this in every port and town I visit. I caught a mermaid and she granted me three wishes if I would release her back into the sea. So I told her I wanted a yacht and, sure enough, she came through for me. Next, I asked for a million bucks and now I am set for life. Last of all, I asked her if I could have sex with her and her response was, ‘I don’t know how you can make love to me with your type of body.’ So I asked her, ‘How about a little head?’”

Other jokes:

  1. Why did the ketchup blush? He saw the salad dressing.

  2. What did the elephant ask the naked man? How do you breathe out of that thing?

  3. How do you make your husband scream during sex? Call him and let him hear it.

  4. Why does the mermaid wear seashells? She outgrew her b-shells!

  5. How is life like toilet paper? You’re either on a roll or taking shit from someone.

  6. What does one boob say to the other boob? If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

  7. What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? A man will actually search for a golf ball.

  8. What did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball? She gagged.

3
Anonymous
in Programming

A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane, and came safely to a halt.

The physicist said, “We need to model the friction in the brake pads and the resultant temperature rise, see if we can work out why they failed.”

The engineer said, “I think I’ve got a few spanners in the back. I’ll take a look and see if I can work out what’s wrong.”

The programmer said, “Why don’t we get going again and see if it’s reproducible?”

0
Post
in Little Girl

Well a boy and a girl are in a bath tube together. The little boy says “Hey you see that I’m gonna go ask daddy what it is?” When the little boy asks his dad he says. “Well son that’s your car you try to park it in a girls parking spot.” As the boy runs back he see’s the little girl is missing. It had turned out that the little girl was asking her mama that her spot was and she said. “Well that’s your parking spot never ever let a boy put it in.” When she got back the little boy tried to put the car in well he did and she ended up breaking his car that day.

Anonymous
in Cheetah

Why are Cheetahs bad at running away. They always get spotted

Anonymous
in Nut

Ow! you hit the spot!

Azariah Apellido

Why does Waldo wear stripes?

He doesn’t want to be spotted.

Bad joke gentlemen
in Cow

How do you spot a cow?

With a bingo dabber.

I comment weird stuff
in Columbine

Hippity hoppity the school shooter spotted me

Honest Penaldo Fan
in Penaldo

It was a sunny day and I was in school. I had history lessons and we had cool subject! The subject was about the Pendulum, the man who statpaded against small teams and camped in pen spot! Our teacher showed us a map with marked countries in which penaldo dived like a dolphin!