You jokes
What do you say when a Spanish person loses a car?
Carlos.
You know why I have so low IQ? It's because the left side of my brain gets nothing right, and the right side of my brain has nothing left.
How do you fix an igloo?
With Iglue.
Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
So you can see the look on its face...
I could tell you the one about the broken pencil... but it's pointless.
When do you go on red and stop at green?
A watermelon.
Where do you find a cow with no legs?
Right where you left it!
A blind man walked into me at a store. I said, "Watch it, bitch!" and he said, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
So, a neutron went to a bar. He asked the bartender how much for a beer. The bartender said, "For you, no charge."
Why is the day you do laundry, cook, clean, iron, and so on called a day off?
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
When you slap a mosquito, it stops sucking you.
If you put an amputee with no limbs in a snuggie, it becomes a stubbie.
What do you call a soda can’s dad? Pop!
What do you call a fish with no eyes?
Fffffsshhhhhh
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? Don't worry, he hasn't neither.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
What do you call a toothless bear?
A gummy bear.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
You know why the teacher punished Dairy Milk?
Answer: Because he was choco_'late' to school.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!