You jokes
There was this boy. He had diarrhea, and he kept asking to go to the bathroom, but the teacher said no. Next thing you know, he pooped himself in front of the class.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought "The Squid Game" was an all-you-can-eat buffet.
I was given an invisibility cloak by my grandfather, but it was stolen in 2013. After investigating this issue, I have come to the conclusion it was Robert Lewandisney.
That's why he was invisible in every big game since 2013. SHAME ON YOU LEWANDISNEY!
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
Me: What is the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Friend: Let me guess, they both suck you.
What’s 8 inches and women scream when they see it?
A puppy, you dirty monkey!
Doctor: “I have good and bad news.”
Patient: “Give me the good news first.”
Doctor: “Your test results are back and you have only two days to live.”
Patient: “That’s the good news? What’s the bad news?”
Doctor: “I’ve been trying to reach you for two days.”
Tell an emo, "Do you get jealous when your phone dies?"
Talking about planets with my nephew.
He asked if you could plow thru Uranus because it's all gas.
You get hit by a wave, but you don't get wet. Why?
You were hit by a shockwave!
What do you say when a cat says "me moaw"?
The cat says "me toooo!"
Why was Liverpool better than Man United? We won 5-0, and you have a sex offender on your team.
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
I would like to call you as dumb as a rock, but they can hold a door open.
Q: What do you call a duck that's sad?
A: Idk, but it's acting really duckpressed.
Like if you like dogs. Dislike if you like cats. Other animal? Tell me in the comments!
I'd mop the floor with your face, but you might just mess it up more.
*text conversation boy: When you kiss someone, you burn 15 calories. Wanna burn calories together sometime?
girl: Are you saying I'm fat?
Friend: Your t-shirt is cringe.
Me: You should go get the Covid test because one of their symptoms is no taste.
"Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? You're adopted. Haley says she likes me more than you."