You jokes

What do you call a Muslim and an Arab in a plane?

Pilots, you racist fuckers!

If you punch an orphan, what are they going to do? Tell their parents?

Hey, did you know Paul Walker's gay?

Why do you say that?

Because he likes to wrap himself around long, old wood.

What do you call a 3 humped camel?

Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀

How do you find a blind man on a nude beach?

It’s not hard.

Once I told an abortion joke and this woman was like, "I've had an abortion, that's offensive." And I was like, "I just tell jokes, I think what you do is much worse."

What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.

When you realize the person reading this is a clown.

I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄

What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?

The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.

(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.

Actor: Really? What do I do?

Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

Guess how I'm getting laid tonight?

"I'm stronger than you."

Why are you so tired if you can’t see? Because you are blind.

Have I told you the joke about the airplane? Ah, forget it, it probably just went over your head.

A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"

What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?

When you're Russian to the bathroom, and when you're finished you're from Finland, what are you when you are IN the bathroom?

European.

Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.

Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!