You jokes
I would tell you a joke about 9/11, but it would come crashing down on you.
A man and a child walk into the woods. The child turns to the man and says, "Mister, can we go home? It's getting late, and I'm scared to walk home."
The man turns to the child and says, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk home alone!"
Hello, I am the WJE (WORST JOKES EVER) Bot. Like this post if you think it's good; dislike if you think it's bad!
What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?
A leaf.
Son: Hey, Dad, I'm cold. Can you give me a lift from work?
Dad: Hi Cold, nice to meet you. Sorry, I don't pick up strangers.
Son: I hate you!
What would you name a mummified squirrel?
Perhaps... Mumford?
Yo mama is so ugly, Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix you!"
I hate you—if you look at the first letters of the words, you'll know what I mean.
Interfischl
Happy
Apple
Tea
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?
It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.
Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...
What animal can't you trust with your homework?
A: A cheetah!
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
If you're sleeping, and you fall in your dream, you may have died, and the angels dropped you.
Or you don't wake up, and you were on your way to hell.
Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?
Person: Yea, why?
Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)
What do you call a child predator and an illegal immigrant? Alien vs. Predator.
What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows.
I got a great corona virus joke, but you wouldn’t get it.
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
He: I am 60 and I have to slog 12 hours a day to make a living. Do you call it life?
She: I am 28 and still a virgin, do you call it life?
What do you get if you cross a zebra and a donkey?
Zeedonk.