You jokes
What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pork chop.
"Bonus, we can even watch a movie and still chat! Love you!
Which one do you want to watch? 😀"
I lick poo for a living... You?
Knock! Knock!
Who’s there? Control Freak. Con... OK, now you say, “Control Freak who?”
Why does new pavement smell like butt?
In other words you can also call it asphalt.
Ass-phalt.
What do you call a female octopus? An octopussy.
If you have an overdose on a drug and die, then half of the least dose would be a lifetime supply.
A girl with no arms and one leg goes to her mother and asks: "Mom, next year for the carnival, can I dress up as a princess?"
The mother replies: "Why? Didn't you like the ice lolly dress from last year?"
Imagine you go to school, right? You hit the curve, the bus driver be like, "Ahhh, how do I stop the bus?" Students from the bus jump from the windows. One of the students: "That's a YOU problem."
Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Hey selfish king, I see you need a girlfriend ;)
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it? Cause it's nacho problem!
When someone says you're an orphan, say, "At least I was wanted, unlike you!"
What do you call a bad piece of wood? Knotty.
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
She does not wanna fuck you, and she don’t need you clapping them cheeks.