You jokes
Roses are red, I like weed,
If you say yes then I'll do a "good deed."
Tuxedos suit you.
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
How do you stun a Scotsman?
Ask them to say "purple burglar alarm".
What’s something you can say about a fat person, but not about strippers?
Those legs sure hold a lot of weight.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Did you hear about the streaker in church? He was caught by the organ.
Nah, did your barber catch a seizure while lining you up?
What do you do when you run out of carpets? Fetch your shotgun and look for Explain Bear.
I'll never forget my grandpa's last words:
"You need to park a little closer."
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.
What do you call a priest meeting his illegal children?
A holy CUMmunion.
What do you call a midget born from precum?
"Half Nut!"
You're so poor that when you drink water from a cup, people flick a coin into it.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?..
Hot Wheels.
Boss: How good are you at PowerPoint?
Me: I Excel at it.
Boss: Was that a Microsoft pun?
Me: Word.
So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?
You should always wash your sex toys. That’s why priests invented baptism.
Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"