You jokes
Have you heard of Wendy's?
Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.
Why did your daddy not come back with the milk?
Because you have no dad because your dad never loved you.
What do you call a Gary Dinosaur?
A mega-sore-ass.
"Water exists."
Airport security: "What the fuck did you just say?"
How do you get an emo kid out of a tree? Cut the rope.
If you can't stand the heat, sit!
What do you say to an emo's wrist?...
"I like ur cut G."
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Hey Gwen, how are you? I'm a girl, btw...;)
Did you know Helen had a playhouse in her backyard? Neither did she!
What's the difference between you and my dad? You come home.
Roses are red, grass is greener.
When I think of you, I play with my weiner.
Did you know curing boredom is quite simple?
For instance, you could pretend to be an apple by tying a rope around your neck for a stem.
(Kids Doing A Science Project.) Kid 1: Did you bring Uranus?
Kid 2: Never leave home without it.
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
You're walking one day and a little kid, about 5-6 years old, comes up to you asking, "What's a condom?" You have to give that child the wrong answer, what would you tell them? Comment on what you would tell them.
So put your best face on everybody, pretend you know this song everybody.
*pulls out noose* "COME HANG!"
*pulls out gun* Let's go out with a bang... Bang- *gunshot*
What do you call a bird with no wings?
Moas didn't even know that existed!