You jokes
When you are sitting outside at school and this boy comes up to you with a rock in his hand and says, "Do you know where Mrs. Stewart is at?"
What do you call a very rude bird? A mockingbird.
What do you call an accomplished opera singer with recurring gonorrhea?
Standing ovation!
"You is so black your mama fainted."
Spare.
You got a spare, spare me an inch of that far juicy cock.
Is water wet?
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator?
He was fired from his job because he couldn’t learn the route.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes a while to put you under.
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair?
This car in RC-XD.
A student asked a teacher, "How do you pronounce this word? It's spelled A-L-L-I-E-D."
The teacher was about to answer, but then the student said, "Actually, I know how to pronounce it. I lied!" (allied)
If you get out of the shower clean, how does your towel get dirty?
What's the one thing that you don't have but celebrities do?
Lots of fans.
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
Me explaining to the school nurse that ice can't cure everything.
Nurse: hOW DaRe yOu OpPosE mE mORtAl!
Your forehead so big you got to go outside to think.
What do you call a duck that can fix anything? Duck tape.
I bet you like men!