An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is family size

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.

What is Steven Hawkins favourite food? Micro chips

How do you fit a baby in a bowl… a blender… and how do you get it out?

Tortilla chips

How do you get a baby into a small bowl? A blender. How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

What is a physicist’s favorite food?

Fission chips.

How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender. How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a Megabyte and some micro chips.

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says: “I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!”

how did you get sally into a blender? -without much resistance how do you get sally out of a blender? -tortilla chips

What do u call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese

Q:what do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch {somewhere}

A: a couch potato HaHaHa

What was the chip doing at the hairdressers? It was getting a crinkle cut

What is Stephen Hawkings favourite crisps

Micro chips 😂

whats red green and slimy and slids down the chipshop window .

abortion of chips

She was only a potato chip manufacturer 's daughter - by she was Frito Lay!

a man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up. The executionares asked “how’d you do that?” he said, " I had magic chips, here, take some"they eat them, jump off and die.

He asks for more chips, and the guy says “you’re a real a**hole when you’re drunk superman.”

What do you call a lazy potato chip? LAYS!