An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.
If you were a food what would you be?
Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy
Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends
Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside
When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a Megabyte and some micro chips.
Q:what do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch {somewhere}
A: a couch potato HaHaHa
how did you get sally into a blender? -without much resistance how do you get sally out of a blender? -tortilla chips
a man was forced off the Eiffel Tower, but he flew back up. The executionares asked “how’d you do that?” he said, " I had magic chips, here, take some"they eat them, jump off and die.
He asks for more chips, and the guy says “you’re a real a**hole when you’re drunk superman.”