An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is family size

Why can’t orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because their family size.

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.

For orphans every bag of chips is family size

What is Steven Hawkins favourite food? Micro chips

What is a physicist’s favorite food?

Fission chips.

How do you get a baby into a small bowl? A blender. How do you get it out? Tostito chips.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a Megabyte and some micro chips.

Q:what do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch {somewhere}

A: a couch potato HaHaHa

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

how did you get sally into a blender? -without much resistance how do you get sally out of a blender? -tortilla chips

A man walks into a store and orders 2 large chips. They give them to him and he says: “I ordered 2 large chips, not 100 little ones!”

How do you get 100 dead babies into a tub? Put them in the blender. How do you get them out of the tub? Give mexicans tortilla chips and tell them theres salsa in the tub.

What do u call cheese that isn’t yours?

Nacho Cheese

What was the chip doing at the hairdressers? It was getting a crinkle cut

whats red green and slimy and slids down the chipshop window .

abortion of chips

For an Orphan, any bag of chips is family size.

She was only a potato chip manufacturer 's daughter - by she was Frito Lay!