Chip Jokes

Anonymous
in Similarity

What’s the similarity between a bag of chips and a gun?

When you pull one out in class, everybody wants to be your friend.

Anonymous
in Depression

If you were a food what would you be?

Friend 1-Pizza cause I’m so cheesy

Friend 2-Chocolate chip cookie cause I have lots of friends

Me-donut cause I’m so empty inside

Anonymous

An American is lecturing a British person, saying things like “it’s an elevator not a lift” and “it’s chips not crisps” etc. After a while of this the British person calmly retorted “they’re schools, not shooting ranges”.

Anonymous
in Orphan

There is an upside to being an orphan… every bag of chips is family size

Anonymous
in Orphan

Why can’t orphans eat a large bag of chips? Because their family size.

7
HaHaHaHaHaHa
in Annoying

Q:what do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch {somewhere}

A: a couch potato HaHaHa

Anonymous
in Orphan

For orphans every bag of chips is family size

Anonymous

how do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? a blender. how do you get them out? tortilla chips.

Anonymous

What is Steven Hawkins favourite food? Micro chips

DanielBennett
in Stripper

Dating a striper is like eating a bag of chips in class.

Everyone looks at you in disgust. But deep down inside they want some too.

Metalblade

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a Megabyte and some micro chips.

1
Anonymous
in Little Johnny

Little Johnny walks out to the garage, and sees Dad smoking a cigarette… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have a puff of that cigarette??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house…

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage, and sees his Dad drinking a beer… He asks, “Hey Dad, can I have some of that beer??” Dad asks, “Well Johnny, can your dick reach your ass??” Little Johnny scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, No Dad, my dick can’t reach my ass”… His Dad says, “There’s your answer, Johnny…” Little Johnny goes back in the house…

About an hour later Little Johnny comes back out to the garage with a BIG plate of Tollhouse Chocolate Chip cookies, fresh from the oven… His Dad says, “WOW Johnny, those sure look like some good cookies… You think I can have some??” Little Johnny asks his Dad, “Well Dad, can your dick reach your ass??” His Dad scratches his head and thinks about it for a moment… He then replies, “Well, Yes Johnny, I do believe my dick can reach my ass”… Little Johnny says, “Well Dad, you can go FUKC yourself, cuz Mom made these cookies for me!!!”…

in Cookie

When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?

“Chip Chip Hooray”

in Orphan

For orphans … every bag of chips is familly sized

Bree
in Orphan

Why couldn’t the orphan buy chips

They were all family sized

Dead baby

What’s the best way to get a baby out of a blender? Tortilla Chips

glacier
in Gun

what do a bag of chips and a gun have in common? when you pull either one out in class everyone all of a sudden wants to be your friend…

Anonymous
in Physicist

What is a physicist’s favorite food?

Fission chips.

Anonymous
in Orphan

why can’t orphan eat a bag of chips?.. Because the chip was family size.

Anonymous

How do you fit a baby into a shoebox? A blender

How do you get them out? Tortilla chips