You jokes
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How do you get a blonde to drown? You tell them the bottom of the pool smells weird.
Why can’t you trust an emo kid?
'Cause they always leave you hanging.
What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?
A small medium at large.
I'd tell you a joke about my boyfriend's dick, but it's a private joke.
Memes
How do you spot a cow?
With a bingo dabber.
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
If you take your dog for a walk and you BOTH use the fire hydrant down at the corner...you might be a Redneck!
Bf: Babe, do you love me?
Gf: Of course, why do you ask?
Bf: I heard that your mom passed away, and I went to pick some roses for you to try to cheer you up, and then I remembered why I went to the garden.
You know how to draw a horse? If not, look in a mirror and draw what you see.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
What did one bee say to the other bee?
"I love you, honey!"
Husband: Hey, my dear, this lunch is great. Where did you find the recipe?
Wife: In a detective novel.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
What do you call a Jedi teacher who lives in a forest?
Obi-Wan Canopy
Why don't you wanna taco 'bout it? Cause it's nacho problem!
What did the cow say to the other cow?
Moo you fine.
What is a good night for you?
Hi! I love when you walk in and out the door at night. I did not.
They don't have parents because they left when you were 0.