You jokes
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil? It's pointless.
How do you talk to giants? Using big words.
If you kill a killer, the same amount of killers in the room stays the same.
What did one skeleton say to another?
...nothing... they are dead... what did you expect?
What do you call a Punjabi that’s drowning? Mandeep.
Where do you find an orphan? Just look for your mum.
Do you know when the thing of you when the was is where you and if you when you where if I and you where in the thing is where yes?
Jordan, you stupid ass! Addison never bothered you so leave her the FUCK alone! How about this? Get up, go outside, stop being a jackass, and get a fucking life!
Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles, and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well, that's because we aren't married yet!"
"Orange you glad I made it?"
I made an advent calendar for a Jehovah’s Witness.
Behind every door someone tells you to fuck off.
Sometimes I look at someone I hate and think, "I hope you get laid tonight."
By a tweaker with AIDS.
What do you call an octopus on land?
A spider, duh!
Me: *watching TV*
Mom: Omg, no way, your dad is coming!
Me: Really?
Mom: Obviously not, he never loved or wanted you.
What do you get when you cross a penis with a potato?
A dictator.
You could hold your breath for the rest of your life.
Think about it.
To Tina: Hi, love, you're my oldest and dearest friend. I will love you for as long as I live. I luvv you so much, my sweetest, dearest darling.
Hi Alex, you will probably not see this till the morning, but I just wanted to say I have had fun since you were here. Also, thank you so much for protecting me and being there for me. And yeah, have a good day!
Hello, this is our fun CULT, haha, or CLUB, whatever you want!
Love you, orphan haters! :^ Nina