You jokes

If you mixed the Iraq wheat scandal with the basics card paying other people's dole to your wife and tumble dried it in a royal commission that made your priestly mates look bad, what would you get?

Tony Abbott's career.

What do you call a dead black plantation worker? Fertilizer.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

One like = more from me to you. 👊

You live in the airport.

When was the last time you saw yourself in the mirror?

The only doctor you have is Doctor Pepper.

What do you call a priest that likes juice?

A Capriest Sun.

Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

Are you the Twin Towers? 'Cause you sure upgraded.

You're so poor, if I ever broke into your house, I'd give you things.

Me: Truth or dare?

Crush: Dare.

Me: I dare you to give me your phone number.

Crush: Umm nevermind, truth.

Me: Ok, what is your phone number?

Are you going to jump? Can I jump with you?

A bully says, "I get 10x more girls than you" to a gay kid.

Then the gay kid says, "10 X 0 is still 0."

What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair? (RC-XD)

What do you call a blond with half a brain? Gifted.

When you ask for plastic surgery, they said, "We could not fix you, but the only way is to wear a mask to fix your ugly face."

When your boy tries to have a bad day while you're on your period:

Oh, you have a cold? How rude of me. I just laid an egg, and now my body is ripping down the walls of my uterus. But can I get you a tissue?

What do you call someone who makes a joke about Bread society?

The Doughker.