You jokes
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Was your dad a pilot? Because I rate you a 9/11.
When your brother sends you to go get a box of condoms for his b-day. (* *)
"Are you my homework? Because I want to slam you on my desk and do you all night."
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, you idiot. He got nailed before he died!
Memes
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
Child: Mom, someone told me you talk like an owl.
Teacher: Who?
Child: Oh, it is true, you do talk like an owl!
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
I like you, you like me.
Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
What do you call a Hippie's Wife? A Mississippi.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
What time do you call me tomorrow?
Guy is at athletic meet. Asks guy if he is a pole vaulter.
He replies, "No I am German and how did you know my name was Walter?"
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!