You jokes

I really want to beat the living daylights out of you, but it's not worth getting the wooden spoon for garbage.

What do you call two men fucking? My dad and I. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?

A Butt-asaurus.

The Earth was flat until they buried you.

You're so skinny that when you're driving, you have to put the seat forward to reach the pedals. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

What do you call a criminal?

Disarmed and dangerous.

Hey, do you remember that dragon thing?

Draggin' these balls across your face.

This 15-year-old girl wanted a cross on her room with a long nail on the end over her bed. Unfortunately, it killed her dad because it fell off the wall.

(Do you get the joke?)

(Her dad was on her, and it fell and killed him.)

What do you call a cow's facial hair?

A moostache.

What do you call basketball for disabled people?

Rocket League?

"Dude come here and see a rabbit!"

"Ok!"

"Are you ok, man?"

"Yeah, I’m fine."

"Dude, pull your pants back up!"

What’s the comparison of an emo and a highlighter?

You can pop their head off.

A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."

What do you call a gay dwarf?

Coming out of the cupboard.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl urinate? Because walls.

If you give a man a match, he is warm for the night, but if you light a man on fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. :)

Why do you only see girls in groups of 3, 5, 7, and 9?

Because they can’t even.

Have you ever been to the new Disney park called SawCon?

SawCon deez nutz!

What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?

"Him and his dead family." :(

Me: Shut up! If you don't shut up, I'm gonna tell your parents!

You: Why? I don't have any.