You jokes
Roses are red, Violets are blue, You are so ugly, Do not tell me that is really you.
So you know there's like dog mixes, right? Like a Snoodle and that stuff, right? So why can't a bulldog and a shih tzu be mixed? 'Cause if they did, it would be called bullshit.
To a Mexican person: When I first met you, I thought you were going to say, "My name is Enrique, I have a job for you."
I am not a nerd ;). I'm just smarter than you.
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common? They both used their brains to paint the walls.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"The FBI."
"The FBI who?"
"Are you dumb? It's the f#cking FBI, now open up!"
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
What do you call a cow's facial hair?
A moostache.
What do you call an orphan's selfie?
A family portrait.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry!
(classic)
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
If you play games, go play on your sister.
Dad: Come on, David, go dress up like a girl.
David: Isn't that illegal?
Dad: Nah, it isn't illegal if you keep the buttons in.
David: I hate my life.
Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?
My friend: What?
Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”
Gwen is a liar. She said she is a Christian and then is saying bad, bad, bad, bad words. Shame on you, Gwen, LIAR!
Why did the loo 🚽 roll roll down the stairs? To get to the bottom.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
How do you check that a rabbit is old?
You check how many gray hares it has.
How does a penguin (however you spell it) build a house? Igloos it together!