You jokes
Why do girls wear classic rock T-shirts? Because they are stupid little bitches who need to grow some fashion sense because wearing old shit doesn't make you unique.
What do you call crabs that do not share their food?
They are shellfish! (ﾉ≧∀≦)ﾉ
There are 206 bones in my body.
When I look at you, it becomes 207.
I hate you, Gwen. You are a stupid idiot!
What do you call it if your mom is a guy and your dad is a woman?
Transparent.
Knock knock. Who's there? Well, I will tell you who's not there: my dad.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
What games do you play if you are bored?
Board games.
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?
What do you get when you cross a stick and a dog? A run away joke...
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A self-portrait.
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
What do you call suicidal Hitler?
Slitler.
Do you know why there is no “f” in “orphan?”
Because it stands for family.
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you?
I'm a heterosexual man that is so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle. Dimes if you feed it beans.
Jack and his kids went to the lake, and his mother wants him to go swimming. You know what he says? "Back where you came from!"
What is a room you can not enter? A mushroom.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."