You jokes
Chuck: Do you have holes in your underpants?
Teacher: No, of course not.
Chuck: Then how do you get your feet through?
My wife's always nagging me. "You don't let me have any friends, I abuse her, and I'm always coming back late." So I thought I would treat her. I popped up in the attic and introduced her to two women.
What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?
Nothing because they can't open the gift.
A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
You people who look at this sight, shame on you, fucking idiots!
💔 The Broken Family 💔 . Part 1
Girl: Mom, dad tried to have sex with me last night.
Mom: Are you serious?? (Shocked)
Girl: Yah. He said I must kiss him after he didn't want to let me go.
Mom: Am gonna kill ur dad (Angry)
Girl: Please mom, we still need him, who will buy use food and clothes. You don't have a job mom.
Mom: But what he did was wrong.
Girl: I know.
(SOUND OF A CAR COMING IN)
Mom: Is that ur dad.
Girl: Yes Mom
Comment Part 2
what do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
a family photo.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
What do you call a dwarf police officer?
A guinea pig.
COP: Are you high?
ME: If I was high, could I do this? *walks in a perfectly straight line*
COP: Wth he just walked off a cliff.
Why are there no chemists in Africa?
Because you can’t take tablets on an empty stomach.
If you go to someone's house and see the flag of the former Soviet Union hanging on the wall,
that's a big red flag!
A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"
The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"
The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"
The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."
If you think vanilla and chocolate ice cream is just light and dark mode.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Island.
Island who?
Island the one that knows you!
You get paper cuts on each eye and walk off a cliff.
I'd tell you a Kobe joke.
But I am afraid it wouldn't land well.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
If you want to SH but not in the sell farm way, come ooon.. do you even know what does that means?..