You jokes
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
Lete know in the comments
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
What is soccer like when you lose your soccer ball?
Orphan: "My Parents."
What do you call a Taliban in a bath bomb?
I saw a kid wearing tatty rags on a curb, so I asked, "Are you an orphan?"
"Yes," he replied. "What gave me away?" He asked, "Your parents," I said.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
If you think long and hard, oral sex is like cannibals.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Make them clap until their parents come back.
What do you call a deer with hooves in his ears?
Anything you want—he can’t hear you.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.