You jokes
What do you call a criminal?
Disarmed and dangerous.
The Earth was flat until they buried you.
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Because I know they haven't.
What do you call a dinosaur with a butt?
A Butt-asaurus.
What do you call basketball for disabled people?
Rocket League?
How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice, put peas around it, when the polar bear goes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
Do you know why Peter Pan is always flying?
Because he Neverlands!
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
If I told you Jeremy Palacios was not GAY!
I'd be a liar.
Julius Caesar walks into a bar and orders a Martinus.
The bartender asks, "Don't you mean Martini?"
Julius Caesar says, "No, I only want one."
I went on a date last night and told my date I worked with animals every day.
She said, "Oh, how sweet. What do you do?" I said, "I'm a butcher."
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.
What do you call a flying sheep?
A muttonbird.
Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
Yes, I know the murderer, The muffin man, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress up as the altar boy.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
So this guy named Andrew Furda was my boyfriend for like a half a week, so five days. Then bam, I cut my hair. He only liked me for my looks, and I hoped he regrets it because it is WAR, so if you see this, you're going down, Andrew!
POV: You walk up to your short friend and say, "How is the weather down there?"
Why is Lucas so weird? I don't know, you tell me.