You jokes
The moment you realize that school Kahoot! games are more competitive than the Super Bowl.
One time a man climbed a mountain and saw a guy.
"Who are you?"
"I am mountain man!"
What do you call it when you drop a bottle of food dye?
"It's dye-ing."
By the way, could you tell me an elevator pun? I can't seem to "come up" with one myself.
What do you call a fish without an eye? Fsh.
nice
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
If you are dehydrated, you should get well soon.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
If your boyfriend doesn't get your fruit puns, you got to let that mango.
What do you call nitrogen in the day? You call it day-trogen!
What type of jam can you not eat?
Traffic jam.
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
Did you know that the shovel was a groundbreaking invention?
Do you want to hear a joke about pizza?
Wait, no. It's too CHEESY!
A man is watching TV and his wife comes down and says, "I just fell down the stairs, did you not hear me?"
Man, "Sorry, I thought it was the start of Eastenders!"
Me: Have you seen a Mr. Weewoo?
Most people: No.
Me: He drives the ambulance downstairs.
Me: I used to laugh at Skyrim jokes like you, then I took an...
Everyone Else: DON'T...FUCKING...SAY IT.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued oh how I wish I was dead so that I no longer have to brood.
Death would be a reprieve as I would no longer have to be true, and I would no longer have to be around any of you.
My friend: What are you doing?
Me: I'm making holy water.
My friend: How?
Me: I'm boiling the hell out of it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on pot?
Pot wheels.