You jokes

Pedophile

You know why pedophiles get away with molesting children?

Because who are they gonna tell? Not their parents.

Gummy bear

Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.

Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?

A: Delici-Oso

Memes

Barney

I like you, you like me.

Let’s go out and kill Barney with a big shot gun. Barney’s on the floor, no more purple dinosaur. 🌸🌸🌸🌺🌺🌺🥀🥀🥀RIP BARNEY

Dairy

You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.

How dairy!

Papyrus

Papyrus: Sans, can you call Undyne for me and tell her that I found a human!

Sans: Sure bro, lemme just get on the Tele-bone.

Papyrus: Ssssaaaaannnnsss!!!!!!

Sans: Yea bro.

Papyrus: You know what? I will tell Undyne instead.

Him

Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.

Time

Time heals all wounds.

Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.

Cow

There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"

The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."

Skeleton

How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?

If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.