You jokes
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
How do you clean the ocean?
With tide!
What do you get when you cross the terms homeless and abandoned?
POORphan
If you start at a bait shop, you're an amateur baiter, but once you achieve the highest level, you become a master baiter. Now buy a shrimp boat and become a master baiter on a shrimp boat.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Guy feels something on his back.
“Oh God, please let that be a rifle.”
“Nope. I’m just real happy to see you.”
What do you call a country with nukes?
Abomination.
What do you call an overweight psychic?
A four chin teller.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
Car-los
How did the skeleton know it was gonna rain?
If you said he felt it in his bones, you're wrong. He watched the weather forecast.
Bank owner: If you want to start a bank account, I need your name.
Guy: Robin
Bank owner: Your last name?
Guy: Debank
Bank owner: Robin Debank?
Guy: Put your hands up and give me all the money!
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other, "I'm cold. Are you cold?"
The other cow says, "Yeah, I'm Fresian."
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Why can you punch an orphan and get away with it?
Because what is he gonna do, tell his parents?
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
What time do you call me tomorrow?
I've patched 1,000 roofs, and they don't call you Boris the roof patcher. I've built 100,000 swords and shields, and they don't call you Boris the blacksmith, but you fuck one goat!