Fortune Teller jokes

What do you call an overweight psychic?

A four chin teller.

What do you call a short fortune-teller that escaped from jail?

A small medium at large.

What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.

In the beginning of the 20th century, a young girl called Edit left her home country of Sweden and crossed the Ocean to make a new life in America. Unfortunately, it did not go all that well, and she soon found herself homeless, begging for food or money to survive.

She used to occupy a street next to a theater, not because it meant hefty handouts, but because it was a place where no other beggars or police bothered her. Every night, a new crowd came to see a show, and the cute young girl found just enough mercy to survive. In fact, she did so well that she decided to afford herself a small piece of cake every Tuesday, just to keep her spirits up.

One Tuesday, she could not get a break. Looked like she will go without cake this week. Then, a strange-looking gentleman stopped near her. He soon heard her story and decided to share his fortune.

Gentleman: "I work as a magician in the touring show; today, we performed here. Some nights, our guests want to gamble with us afterwards, and I make sure to bring home more than I came with. I try to keep it moderate, but today, this obnoxious drunk was loaded, so I emptied his pockets. Here, take this precious coin."

I can see my future in your forehead.

Like this,

it will give you good luck. See for yourself!

Guys, say "I love gape horn" really loud and you will get good luck for 10 years.

What is always in front of you but can’t be seen?

Answer: The future.

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison? Reports say there's a small medium at large!

I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.

Last night, I fucked a chick named Penny. What are the odds?