You jokes
Teacher: Ok kids, time to go home.
The orphan: What is home?
Teacher: Here, I have somewhere for you.
*puts in trash can*
I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.
You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna.
Banna who?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Banna who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say Banna? Yup! 🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂
Does your shoe have a hole in it?
No.
Then how did you put your foot in it?
What's the difference between your mom and a mosquito?
Answer: The mosquito stops sucking if you slap hard enough.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
What do you call a flamingo with 20 toes?
A flamingo.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What's the worst joke you ever heard?
Your mom is the biggest tosser on the planet, yeah, you heard right.
I don't have to strain myself a blood vessel and be wankin' solo anymore; she saved me a whole load of arthritis.
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
If you turn Down syndrome upside down, do they have Up syndrome now?
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
You're so skinny my grandma gonna use you like a cane.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
I am not telling you twice, your mouth stinks, so go burn your house down like a crazy mad woman, and I will call the cops like, "WTH," because you are so fat.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?