You jokes
What do you do when you're bored?
I beat up orphans.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.
Tip for Kindness for the day.
Tip one. Always speak up for yourself.
Yes, letting someone else speak up for you is nice but also speak up for yourself, be brave if a mean bully comes along. Speak up for yourself and others if they need it. Best, Gwen
This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.
All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?
Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.
In America, you find Waldo.
In Soviet Russia, Waldo finds you.
What do you call an Indian going through the bins?
RUM-MAJINGG
What do you call a cow that lives in Africa? Moo-fasa!
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?
Hate me all you want, but I gotta say, this whole thing with Gwen and TJ is ridiculous.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.
How do you make an 8 year old girl cry twice?
Wipe your bloody cock off on her favorite teddy bear.