You jokes
This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said, “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
Why don't you shower with a Pokemon? He might Pikachú.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"
Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?
Neither have they...
Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.
What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?
Run over.
How can you tell if Google is a girl?
It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!
How can you tell an anti-vaccine kid?
It's only got 10 hours to live.
An assassin threatens a planet.
The planet remains calm.
The assassin: "Do you not realize the gravity of this situation?"
Will you remember me in 7 years?
(Yes)
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Have you heard about the new movie with Stephen Hawking as the star? It's called "Unplugged."
How did you get Sally into a blender?
- Without much resistance.
How do you get Sally out of a blender?
- Tortilla chips.
Are you a banana...
because I find you a-peeling!
Papyrus: Sans, stop being a lazy Bones.
Sans: Why bro, guess you don't have the back bone to do anything, heheh.
Son: Hey Dad, can I play Fortnite?
Dad: I don't know, do you want a girlfriend?
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can't drink and derive.
God, people are so sensitive these days. You can't even say, "Paint the wall black," you have to say, "Jamal, could you paint the wall?"