You jokes
Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
You can hang the picture with one nail.
What do you call a female Michael Jackson? She she.
Knock knock, who's there? God.
God who? NO, you idiot, there is no God. I am your father and you have locked me out of my own house!
So I’m riding in the car with my dad and all of a sudden I smell something rank without warning.
My dad starts laughing at me.
Dad: “Son! That must have been an orphan fart! You know why?”
Me: “Why dad?”
Dad: “Because it ain’t got no pop!”
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Who.
Who who are you? Are you an owl or something?
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
What is the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.
Are you a toaster, because I want to have a bath with you.
How do you get your appeal for rape charges accepted? Say you were expressing your desire for a woman, which is protected under the Constitution in freedom of expression.
It must have been a sad day when you slithered out of the abortion bucket.
Judge: We shall now sentence you for the murder of your parents.
Accused: Please consider a lenient sentence, your honor.
Judge: But why?
Accused: Because I’m an orphan.
Me: Why do you need to use shampoo when you are already bald? 🤣
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.
What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................
What has teeth but doesn't use them to chew? The answer would be a comb or a piano, but technically, if you ripped someone's teeth out and hand them to them, they have teeth but can't chew with them.
What do you call an orphan who grows up to become a priest?
Father Les.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
People are like trees...
If you hit them with an ax multiple times, they'll fall over.