You jokes
Why is it so hard to make friends in Antarctica?
Because you cannot break the ice.
Were you born on a highway? Because most accidents happen on the highway.
Say what you will about pedophiles. At least they drive slowly through school zones.
You can always bully an orphan. Who are they gonna tell, their parents?
What do you call a door hinge? A door hinge!
The Trump family are flying from New York to DC when Donald looks down on the cities below.
Trump: "I think I’ll throw a $1000 bill out the window and make some American happy."
Melania: "Oh honey, why not throw ten $100 bills out the window and make ten Americans happy?"
Ivanka: "Even better daddy, throw 100 ten dollar bills out the window and make 100 people happy."
Pilot: "Why don’t you all jump out the window and make the whole country happy?"
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do for you? And dinner, dinner, and what, yyyuyy dinner? 🍴 Night time.
Maybe if you get a better hairline, your dad will come back with the milk.
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have five fingers and the middle one's for you.
You know, I got a SKELETON of these jokes. All are HUMERUS. Yeah, this gets under people’s SKIN, but I guess you could call their FUNNY BONE BROKEN! People try and hit me when this happens, luckily, I got THICK SKIN! Yeah, thanks for listening. Hope you got these puns down TO THE BONE!
How do you eat a cake?
With a fork!
How do you spell ihop?
Then spell ihop and say "ness".
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
If you don't like my suicidal jokes, sorry man, didn't know it cut that deep.
I rate you 9 out of 10, because I'm the 1 you need.
If you ever have a gay friend whose comatose, tell his family he/she was a fruit. Now he/she's a vegetable, at least they're still in the produce section.
Yo mama so lazy that she didn’t give birth to you until you were 15.
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
What do you call a cow that no one likes? The mooser.