Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.
You Jokes
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian.
Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.
Are you suicide, cause you’re always on my mind?
If a man says you’re ugly, he likes you.
If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous.
If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.
These jokes cheered me up from suicide. This is amazing material. God bless all of you.
what do you call 6 gay men in WWII?
Rainbow Six Siege.
Grandma: Young people your age are married by now, why aren’t you?
Me: Old people your age are dead right now, why aren’t you?
What is the difference between a man performing anilingus on a woman and a man performing cunnilingus on a woman?
If a man is performing anilingus on a woman, it is not classified as heterosexual sodomy, you fucking idiot!!!!!
What is the difference between a feminist and a female prostitute? If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
Me: Want to play 911?
My little brother: What's that?
Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
"Pikachu, I choose you!"
ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.
Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.
Get your mind out of the gutter.
A teacher asked his students a math question.
"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"
After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.
"One dollar!" she said.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What do you call a train with bubble gum?
A chew chew train.
Oh man, I'm depressed.
What do you call depressed Sesame Street?
Emo's World.
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalottapuss.
Did you know Princess Diana was on the radio the night she died?
To be honest, she was on the whole dashboard too.
