You jokes

You're so goddamn stupid, you thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

What do you call a Vietnamese antivirus scanner?

An-Thi-cho-rho-na.

Where do you bring a canoe that doesn’t feel good?... The boat dock.

CEO Intrepid entrepreneur born in 1964, Jeffrey, Jeffrey Bezos.

Repeat, come on Jeffrey, you can do it, pave the way, put your back into it, tell us why, show us how, look at where you came from, look at you now.

Zuckerberg and Gates and Musk, they're the anchors, can make and sick it up there with drink their blood, come on Jeff get it! Dododoododododod

What do you call a rapper who can’t rhyme?

Unemployed.

You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Ground beef.

I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.

I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.

'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!

Like I said, it's really bad. :(

A man comes to an assassin who charges $1000 per shot. He tells the assassin, "My wife's been cheating on me. I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot the guy in the dick." When they arrive, they wait. The man asks why he hasn't taken the shot. The assassin says, "I know how I can save you $1000."

What do you get when you are hungry? A dog to eat.

The time I saw you and you asked me to be your friend.

Me: "Yeah... no. You're too ugly. Even your parents never loved you."

Kid: 😭

Ok, so I know most or all of you guys hate me, and that's fine. You guys most likely know me as a horrible person, which I don't know where you would hear that from.

And finally, I am truly a good person; you just need to know me better. The only reason I fought Tina and Jack was because I was trying to be nice to another guy. Then I realized what side I should have been on. I'm pretty sure everyone on this hates me. Just I'm sorry, and just forgive me. Alya, Tina, Jack, and someone else, I think all are nice people; they just stick up for each other, and that's what I realized. So if you still hate me, it's fine; I'll be leaving this app soon, maybe. Hate makes me sad, even though I use it, but I know what was wrong. I want to join the good side, so just give a chance. This was watersharky's Apologies.

I found the comments before the picture of you got reported, and yes, with all my heart, there was a picture of you in your bra! But I was on your side, so was Kenya, Prince, and Heo! And Mariah, more will be in soon!

A kid and a man are walking into a forest at night.

Kid: "Mr., it's getting dark. I'm scared!"

Man: "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

What do you call seagulls that fly over the bay? Bagels.

What do you call a fish without eyes?

- Fsh.

If you looked in the mirror, you would see an ugly person, which is you.

My money don't jiggle jiggle, it folds.

I want to see you wiggle wiggle, for sure.

Roses are red, violets are blue, but at least a dumptruck isn't as ugly as you.