Restroom

Restroom jokes

Question

    • Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

    Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

  • 1

    • Feminist

    • Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW?

    Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom.

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    • Hair

    • I was at school with friends. One of my friends had hair in her armpits. The rest of my friends and I tried not to laugh or say anything, until one of my friends laughed and told her she had hair in her armpits, so she ran to her locker to get hair remover and went to one of the restroom stalls.

  • 1
    • Restroom memes

    Hitman

    • A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "I'm here to assassinate John Tucker." The bartender replies, "He’s in the restroom." The hitman goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour.

    The bartender asks him, "Did you kill him?" The hitman replies with a sad face, “I asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools, so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour, and when I asked him what’s taking him so long, he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started.”

  • 1

    • Time

    • One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

    Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

    Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

    So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

    And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

    Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

    I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

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    • Car

    • So, today is my birthday. Today, I am 13, but yesterday I am going to turn 10. But I am not even going to school to know the number ten, because one time at 10 p.m. in the morning it was so cold in my hot room, so I went outside to drive my car. But I stopped because the light turned green. I was taking a bath in the front of my car, and it didn’t have a bin, so I am taking a sh$t.

  • 0

    • Minister

    • Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?

    He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).

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    • Bathroom

    • If you're American when you go in the bathroom and you're American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

    European.

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    • Glory Hole

    • How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a Roman Catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar?

    Tell him that it is a confessional booth.

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    • Fight

    • Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

    Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda looked like me.

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    • Irishman

    • Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?

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    • Sex worker

    • What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom?

    Sex worker.

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    • Blowjob

    • Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

  • 1