Restroom

Restroom Jokes

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while "the lights would turn off."

Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers.

However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent.

She walked up to the bartender and asked, "May I please use the restroom?"

The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf."

"Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way," said the nun.

So the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant.

After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause!

She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?"

"Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender, "Would you like a drink?"

"No thank you, but, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun.

"You see," laughed the bartender, "every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out."

Now, how about that drink?

If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?

European.

What are you on your way to the bathroom?

Russian

Got into a fight last night. We both had blades. He cut me deep. I thought I was gone, but he forgot to keep the water running.

Weird thing was that we were in the fight of our lives in the restroom and that guy kinda look like me.

So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says "teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But beforeclass ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the studentsclear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well come with me out to my dads car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

Did you ever received a anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have a orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?

😳 😳 😳 what can a physically handicapped β™Ώ πŸ‘¬ πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘¨ gay man can do better than a physically handicapped β™Ώ bisexual man πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ πŸ€” when his πŸ‘„ mouth is wide open 😍 when his head is sticking out under the stall inside the men's 🚹 restroom 🚻 at a rest 😴 area 😴 suck the chrome of a tall pipe πŸ‘„

Student: "may I use the restroom professor?"πŸ˜†πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Professor: "oui oui"πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

Stundent: "no professor, DOO DOO"πŸ€£πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…

πŸ€” why did a minister who is a christain nationalist and a bisexual man πŸ‘¨ πŸ‘© πŸ‘¨ give a anonymous blowjobs to a β™Ώ physically handicapped gay 😍 men πŸ‘¬ πŸ‘¨ under the handicapped stalls inside 🚹 🚹 the men's restrooms 🚻 😴 at a rest area 😴 he wanted to πŸ˜‹ eat footlong hotdogs 🌭 🌭 for lunch at the rest area but he wanted a sample first (taster) 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭 🌭

How do you trick a homophobic heterosexual male that is a roman catholic priest into using the glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar? Tell him that it is a confessional booth

How do the men with bisexual tendencies that are members in the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses have sex with other men without being disfellowship in the Jehovah's Witnesses Church anonymous sex at a glory hole inside the men's restroom at a gay bar

Why should a feminist never join the United Auto Workers, UAW? Because the only thing that a feminist would do in the United Auto Workers, UAW is lick pussy all day in the woman's restroom

What is the origins of the glory hole? The origins can be found in San Francisco, California where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for a anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA in the wild west.

Why do catholic Irishman in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saints Patrick's Day

So today is my birthday today am 13 but yesterday am going to turn 10.but am not even go to school to know the number ten becuase one time at 10 pm in the morning it was so cold in in my hot room so I want outside to drive my car to drive my car. But I stopped becuase the light turn green.i was talking a bath in the front of my car out it didn’t have bin so am taking a sh$t

What do you call a physically disabled man who is sitting on the toilet inside the handicapped stall inside the men's restroom? sex worker

Question Your American when your not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when your in the restroom.

Answer European (Your a peein')

A hitman walks into a bar and tells the bartender I m here to assassinate John Tucker. The bartender replies he’s in the restroom. The hit man goes inside the restroom and comes out after 1 hour. The bartender asks him did u kill him? The hitman replies with a sad face β€œI asked him any last wishes and the guy asked me to allow him to finish his shit as he is half way in passing his stools so I gave him my word that I would wait and so I waited for an hour and when I asked him what’s taking him so long he says he will not be able to finish because he is just getting started”.

One time my boyfriend and i where playing the tickle game and i tickle him on his thighs by accident and i said oh no i am died. Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina and then i moaned while laughing and told him "STOP pls" . Then he said "that's what i thought" and i was like you cheated he was like "you first did it". So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then i jumped on him and pulled his dick five times.And he scream and i quickly ran out and laughed then he rann to me and i screamed and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while i said "ok ok stoppp" and he stopped and start sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while i said pls stop and then i pushed him off and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole and i said" owwwwwwww". Then he said" play with i'll fuck you up". I said ughh and slaped him.