You jokes
How can you buy emos? Just use their bar code.
What do you call a cow that is secret?
AnonyMOOus.
Your momma is so hairy that when you were born, you got rug burn.
How you know it’s her time in MJ's house?
When the big hand touches the little hand.
Q: What do you call a magic owl?
A: HOOdini
What do you call an orphan?
An orphan.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A self-portrait.
What do you call two terrorists standing next to each other with their dicks out?
The Twin Towers.
What is the difference between Hilary Duff and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song, "Chloe, your the one I want" on Pandora?
Me: No, I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it.
Mom: Don't talk back to me like that, young lady.
Me: / someone else? - -gets silent in da room-
Brother: Yeah, this song is very annoying, but maybe better than the Chelsea song.
Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
God: Why is the teenager so short?
Angel: I don't know.
God: I said, "Strong as a bear!"
Angel: No, you said, "Ass hair."
God: No, I didn't!
What do you call a bottle of water flying over Africa?
A UFO.
What did Andrew Tate say to the fat kid?
"I miss you."
Friend texting fat boy: I know you're on the group chat. I can see you looking at my texts.
Me: I can only see fat.
What's soft and feels like dog?
The fur coat I bought you from Temu.
My nuts hurt; if you pull them, I will scream.
My nuts tickle; scratch them, and I won’t like you no more.
"Give me a cigarette," the condemned man said.
"I thought you quit," replied the guard.
"I did, but I don't think it matters anymore."
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
What do you call a crackhead with no crack?
Pointless.
Are you a nation leader or an email deleter?