You jokes
Do you know the teacher that went up in space? She had blew eyes. One blew this way and one blew that way.
What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?
An ingestigation.
Why have sex when you can perv on your neighbor's grandma!
*America shoots down balloon*
China: "You killed an innocent man!!"
USA: "What?!"
China: "Yes, he was a famous sumo wrestler."
You give some people 2.54 centimeters, and they take 1.6 kilometers.
What do you call two emos in a chemistry lab?
My Chemical Romance.
I will never forget the moment when my father saw me masturbating. He said, "Son, what are you doing? I'm on a video conference - get out of my office!"
What does a skeleton tile his roof with?
Tiles.
WTF did you think he’d tile it with?
What do you call a Mongolian swindler? A Khan artist.
A panic-stricken man explained to his doctor, “You have to help me, I think I’m shrinking.”
“Now settle down,” the doctor calmly told him. “You'll just have to learn to be a little patient.”
How did you get into the tampon 100?
Pull some strings!
I love sucking on food because if you really think about it, tits can be counted as food, so I could technically suck on a woman's tits.
What do you call a masculine lesbian who smokes weed?
A stoned butch.
What do you call a girl with no legs?
Unshakeable.
I have had it up to here with you.
(Then there Hight.)
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
I got in trouble in school today. The teacher said, "I'm gonna call your parents!"
I said, "Let me know when you find them." <3
Yo mama is so nasty that she sucked your dad's dick and came in to kiss you goodnight.
Did you know that..
Studies show 9 in 10 Americans do not have basic math skills.
Oh, thank god I'm in that 1%.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.