You jokes

Father: "The church is on fire! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

Priest: "Ok, what about the children?"

Father: "FUCK THE CHILDREN!"

Priest: "Do you think we'll have time?"

Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."

Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.

Did you hear about the German girl being raped by 10 men? She shouted, "nein, nein," so one of them left.

A lot of people claim that white privilege does not exist. Well, how the hell do you explain Michael Jackson not being charged for raping children, despite ample evidence?

Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.

You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.

What do you call an alligator that can't get hard? A reptile dysfunction.

What's the difference between a mosquito and a pornstar? One stops sucking when you smack it.

Two windmills are standing in a field and one asks the other, "What kind of music do you like?" The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."

"What does the word 'gay' mean?" asked a son of his father.

"It means 'happy'," replied the father.

"Oh," contested the son, "so you are gay then?"

"No, son, I have a wife."

What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.

What do you call an ice skating dwarf?

A midget spinner.

Teacher: Johnny, can you use a sentence with "definitely" in it?

Little Johnny: Do farts have lumps in them?

Teacher: Of course not, Johnny.

Little Johnny: Then I’ve definitely shat myself.

Are you a grave, 'cause I want you on me?

What do you call a piece of tech that acts emo?

Cutting-edge Technology.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't know why I am still alive for you.

To everyone saying, "Don't joke about suicide, it's not even funny to laugh about people dying." Do you think we have it easy? Have you ever thought these jokes were helping us to cope? Mind your own business and don't make assumptions on people you know nothing about, please and thanks.

What do you call it when a midget waves at you?

A microwave.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-