Suicide note jokes

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...

While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

Suicide is never the answer.

Suicide is the question.

The answer is yes.

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.

I tried to commit suicide today; never doing that again. I almost killed myself.