Suicide note jokes

When you accidentally turn in your suicide note instead of your essay to the teacher, but she still gives you an A.

I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note... it's a start...

While writing my suicide note, I got a paper cut... it’s a start.

Suicide is never the answer.

Suicide is the question.

The answer is yes.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

I am a failure to everyone and decided to attempt a suicide, guess what? I failed.

What does a relationship and suicide have in common?

I always fail on committing.