You jokes
Did you hear that Michael Jackson once got food poisoning?
He ate 12-year-old nuts.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high, grabbed her thigh, and said, "You know you wanna." Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a daughter.
Haha, I fucked you over!
And God said to John, "Come forth, and you shall be granted eternal life."
But John came fifth and won a toaster.
Guy: Whose place? Mine or yours?
Girl: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
My grandpa said, "You kids rely on too much electronics." I said, well we will see about that. *unplugging life support* me: *oops*
(some kid crying because hes an orphan and kids are bulling him) teacher:HEY i was a orphan to so if you bully him your basicly trying to bully me too me:OOF teacher:now is somebody not here? me:your parents
You know that at Walmart they have backpacks next to the guns? Well, I thought that it was nice to see the bags next to the school supplies.
Your hair is so far back, you left it at your last address.
Guy: "Can I tell you a joke?"
Spiderman: "Yes."
Guy: "You only have 11 months on your calendar."
Spiderman: "Why?"
Guy: *holds up knife* "Because I murdered May."
How do you get a boy to share something? Bring in Michael Jackson's bed.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Someone: PLEASE EAT! I DON'T WANT YOU TO DIE!
Me: *Trying to remember how long it would take me to die of starvation because I've already googled it and given up because it takes too long.*
Me: Na, yeah, I still have 19 days left.
How do you make a dishwasher work again?
Smack her ass and say "get back to work!"
The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."
What do you call a gay person on fire? LGBBQ.
What do you call a disabled person on fire? Hot wheels.
What do you call an Asian person on fire? Vietnam.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.