You jokes
My cousin asked me, "What do you think was going through Hitler's mind right before he died?"
I told him, "Probably a bullet."
You know why orphans can't play baseball? 'Cause they can't find home.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
Kick his sister in the jaw.
You look like a 2020 hologram of COVID-19.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A family portrait.
How do you make a suicidal guy go bungee jumping?
Tie the bungee cord around his neck.
Gwen, why are you so nice?
"You are under arrest for illegally downloading the entire Wikipedia!"
"Wait! I can explain everything!"
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
"Hello, this is your captain speaking. We are flying at a level of 89 feet. If you look out of your window on the left, you will see the World Trade Center."
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
As a scientist, I confirm that you speak too fast. It has a speed of 1 bullshit per second.
How do you make Stephen Hawking mad?
You turn off the WiFi router.
What do you call a stand-up comedian if the comedian doesn’t have legs?
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.