You jokes
What do you call a blind German? Someone who can't Nazi!
What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
What do you call it when everyone of your friends makes too many dumb Covid jokes? A pundemic.
What do you call a flat emo?
A chopping block🖤
I rate you a 9/11.
Two cows are grazing in a field.
One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"
The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
A: Why are you so sad?
B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.
A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?
B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!
Do you know Candice?
Nope.
Candice dick fit in your mouth.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
what do you get when you cross parents, the san fran bridge and a moody asian teen?
Niagra falls
Can anyone answer this riddle? Apparently this is the world's hardest riddle! Good luck 😝
“I turn polar bears white, and I will make you cry. I make guys have to pee, and girls comb their hair. I make celebrities look stupid, and normal people look like celebrities.”
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
What does a cigar and a hamster have in common?
Both are completely harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire.
What do you call an orphan? No home-o.
My friend had an allergic reaction after he ate a peanut.
We got his EpiPen to help him when Penaldo appeared because he heard the word "PEN". He tried stealing the pen, but I said, "No pens for you," and "Brentford". He cried and ran away. Shame on you, Penaldo the fraud!
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger?
It’s a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.