You jokes
Q.) What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A.) A family stump.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.
You know I used to call my dogs' balls the Twin Towers, until they came rumbling down.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.
Dude,
if you stab a cereal box, will that make you a cereal killer?
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to do suicide, and the librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.
Are you a tree? Cuz I’m trying to hang with you. ;)
People have been telling me that you can get things for free now.
The other day I saw a sign saying "FREE PALESTINE."
In the bus, you can't spell "black" without "back."
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
I will remember my biker buddy's last words: "Why did you cut in front of me?"
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
What do you call an Indian lesbian?
Mingeeta.
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?
"You raise me up to stand on mountains," said the dwarf pornstar on my penis.
A little riddle...
Trump has it short, Kennedy has it long, the Pope has it but he doesn't use it, what is it?
...
Obviously the Surname, what are you thinking about you pervert?