You jokes
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building.
He yells, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.
What should you do if the dishwasher breaks?
Kick her.
What does a one-night stand have in common with earthquakes? You never know how long they'll last.
Memes
Do you know Imagine Dragons? Imagine dragon these nuts across your face!
A deaf couple wants to know when to have sex.
The wife says, "If you want to have sex, squeeze my tits once. If you don't want to have sex, squeeze my tits twice."
The husband says, "OK, if you want to have sex, pull my dick once. If you don't want to have sex, pull my dick 437 times."
I’m a cashier at a grocery store, and when I’m bored, I draw on my hands with a pen. Well, this guy walks up to me and says, “You know, I got mental illnesses from drawing on myself.”
And so, without thinking, I said, “Well, I’ve already got those, so I think I’m fine...” 😳 He looked concerned. Oops lol.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Hey girl, are you a drill sergeant, because you have my privates' attention.
Jimmy does stand up comedy. He says, "What do you call an orangutan?"
Jake replies, "YOU!" Then everyone, including the teacher, laughs. Jimmy cries.
LOL
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What do you call a cut cucumber?
A guy with no legs.
What's the difference between me and a rope?
A rope will hang with you.
When you're 34, it'll be 420 months before you turn 69 years old.
Hey girl, are you suicide? 'Cause I think of you everyday.
What do you call Dr. Disrespect on top of a building?
Diddler on the Roof.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?
Nothing, you told her twice.