You jokes
You might think these jokes are plane.
How do you know you’ve been robbed by an Asian? The house is clean, the homework is done, but the idiot is having trouble backing out of the driveway.
My sister thinks she's sooooo smart. She said that the only food that makes you cry is onions, therefore I threw a coconut at her.
You know why Hitler wouldn’t drink whisky? Because it made him angry.
What do you call useless skin on a penis?
A man.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your fat ass mom.
Man and woman are having a discussion. The woman looks into the man's eyes and says, "Honey, you know how I like it when you walk up and stick it in . . . "
". . . but I love it when Bob walks up and sticks it in!"
Divorce is scheduled for next month.
What do you call a Pegasus that is being sus?
A megasus!
Your hairline is so long that when you finally found the length of it, you told someone and they said, "Don't give me your phone number."
You're so poor that when you walked into an elevator, you thought it was a mobile home.
Did you hear about the goldfish that went bankrupt?
Now he's a bronze fish.
Joke: What do you call a gay alligator detective?
Answer: An Investigator
Did you know China wanted to send a dog to space?
They didn't because they ate it.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
When do you go to the store?
UVUALA!!!!!
I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
I'm going to your mom's house. Can you help me, planet?
Did you hear Palpatine is sewing Nike?
Stole his slogan, just do it!
What do you call a bunny jumping backwards?
A receding hairline.