You jokes
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
What do you call it when a chameleon won't change colors?
A reptile dysfunction.
Why can you slap an orphan?
Are they going to tell mommy?
Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.
Why can't orphans go on game shows?
You need a family member.
You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
What do you say to a guy with Down syndrome who’s on top of a sky scraper? "Jump!"
When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
Kid: "Mom, I had a scary dream. Can I come sleep with you and dad?"
Mom: "Sure, sweetie, sleep in the middle."
Kid: "Dad, can you get the remote out of my back?"
Dad: "That isn't the remote."
*Weird background music*
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?
*School shooting happens.*
Foreign exchange student: *Sobbing under desk.*
American student: "First time?"
Foreign exchange student: "Yeah, you?"
American student: "Hahaha. No, not my first time."
Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.
Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!
Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?
What do you call Stephen Hawking in a burning building?
Hot Wheels.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
What do you call a black person with a gun? Black ops.
How do you know a cannibal picnic is over?
Everyone's eaten.