You jokes
Have you seen the inside of Helen Keller's houses? She hasn't.
Orange: Hey Apple, Apple, hey Apple.
Apple: What?
Orange: Orange you glad I didn't say "Apple" again? Hahaha!
Little Timmy walked in on his parents having sex. His parents look at him in fear. Little Timmy asks, "Mom, Dad, what are you doing?"
The mom replies with, "We are playing house. We'll let you play when you're older," the dad says. So the next day Timmy goes over to play with his friend Johnny, who was, ironically, Timmy's neighbor. Johnny asks, "How was your sleep last night?" "I saw my mom and dad playing house last night," Timmy says. "But they told me I could play with them when I'm older."
After a little bit of playing with Johnny, Timmy went home and saw his Dad playing house with his babysitter. "Dad, what are you doing?" Timmy asks. "I'm playing house with your babysitter," Timmy's Dad said. "But I saw you play house with Mom last night," Timmy told his father. "Well, don't tell your mother," his dad said.
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
What does a chicken give you?
Student: Meat.
What does a pig give you?
Student: Bacon.
What does a fat cow give you?
Student: Homework.
Q: What do you call a girl walking down a street?
A: Lost, she's supposed to be in the kitchen.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut!
What happens when you cross a cow and a redneck?
The redneck fucks the cow.
What do you call a dwarf?
Adrian!
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Did you hear of my new job as a can crusher? It's soda pressing.
How do you disappoint people in Africa?
Send a message saying that you’re going to send trucks full of food, water, and clothing.
But don’t follow through and send the trucks empty.
What do you call somebody in America that is smart?
An immigrant.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall red?
Depends on how hard you throw them.
When the people that see you cry, that doesn't mean they miss you. That mean they scared of your onion breath! 🐑💨
Why do orphans play GTA?
To be wanted.
Why do orphanages give out free phones?
So you can press the home button.