You jokes

What does a piece of gum and a gun have in common?

You pull one out, everyone wants to be your friend.

Do you like Wendy's? When deez nutz are in your mouth.

how do you cut of a hillbilly's dick?

kick his sister in the jaw

Sister: You're adopted.

Me: At least they wanted me, they must feel terribly bad cuz they had to keep you :(

Comebacks when someone say: Bully: "Your teeth is so yellow that when you start smiling you slow down the traffic." Say: "At least its brighter than your future."

What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.

REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! Oh Quin, how was eating that tight butt? Must be nasty. I heard you met from rear ending him.

You can't be short and depressed because you are compressed.

What do you call pasta that’s made by a skeleton? A CREEPYpasta! (It’s my first one, lol)

When the school shooter breaks into the classroom, and you look at your friend because it's the kid you predicted.

Man walks into a bar and sees a bear serving drinks... Sits down looking astonished. The bear says, "what's the matter you never saw a bear serving drinks?" The man says, "it's not that, I just never thought the moose would sell the place."

A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.

I was thinking of a good accident joke, and I asked my sister. She said, "you."

Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)

Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.

What did the girl say to the man with a moustache?

I moustache you a question.

Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?

They each got six months.

How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?

Tortilla chips.

My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.

I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”

Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.