You jokes
How do you know your sister is on her period? Your dad's c**k tastes like s**t!
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One screams when you put it in a blender, and the other one is a cooperative little fruit.
Today is the day of 9/11, and we were in class making jokes, and somebody said, "That's sad." I was like, "Why?" And they said, "Today is the day the towers went down." I said, "Just like I did on your mum last night."
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
What do you call a Sikh man standing on a rope? Balan Singh.
Do you want to know the most racist game? Chess. You wanna know why? Because they never let black go first. I wonder why... lmao.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
What do you call someone in a wheelchair during a California fire?
A steamed vegetable.
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
If you're fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?