A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
You Jokes
Hi, if you are suffering with depression and want to talk about it, please do so in the comments, and just know you are NOT alone.
Do you know how a dragon is? You don't know who? It's dragging these 2-liter balls across your pathetic face and slamming it into a f*cking dumpster you regret.
What's the difference between a blonde and a car door? The harder you slam the blonde, the looser it gets.
What do you call an owl with armor?
A Knight Owl!
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
Are you corona? Cuz it’s hard to breathe around you ;)
How do you know if someone is a vegan or has run a marathon?
They'll tell you.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
How do you know your wife is dead?
The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Get over here so I can fuck you.
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
What do you call a group of cops having a sleep over?
Pigs in a blanket.
So the other day, I saw a child in a wheelchair.
He was getting bullied a lot, so I came up and said, "Why don't you stand up to those bullies?"
Did you hear about the two people who stole a calendar?
They each got six months.
Wanna hear a plane joke? Nah, it'll just go over your head.
How do you fit a baby in a bowl? ... A blender... and how do you get it out?
Tortilla chips.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.
What time is it when you can drive a house? Time to get a wheelchair.
