You jokes
What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? Beef strokin’ off!
What's the difference between life and a rape joke?
Life fucks you until you stop breathing, a rape joke fucks you until it's not funny anymore.
Me: What did one toilet say to the other?
You: What?
Me: You look flushed!
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
How do you get a black kid to stop jumping on your bed? Put velcro on the ceiling.
Memes
My sister said that you know that "that" is really cool. Then I said, "You know you can shut up."
Me: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Her: Awww... Yes!!!
Me: Good, then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.
Q: What do you call 6 gay men in the army?
A: Rainbow Six Siege.
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates?
If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Are you a toaster?
'Cause I wanna take a bath with you.
When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.
A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't comin'.
Did you know ghosts are alcoholics?
They only come out for the boos.
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
How do you make a builder cry?
Kill his family.
Science flies you to the moon, but religion flies you into 2 skyscrapers.
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
A wise man once told me: "If you poke the bear in prison, the bear will happily return the favor when it's time to shower."
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.