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Whatta ya call a downie in the armie…special forces

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, ¨Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!¨ After that he joined the Army and learned to say, ¨Yes sir!¨ After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, ¨Forks and knives, forks and knives!¨ After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, ¨Goody-goody gumdrops!¨ A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows: Policeman: Who killed the man? Foreign man: Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi! Policeman: Did you kill the man? Foreign man: Yes sir! Policeman: What did you use to kill him: Foreign man: Forks and knives, forks and knives! Policeman: You´re under arrest. Foreign man: Goody-goody gumdrops!

Chuck Norris didn’t join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris

There was a boy called John that had no arms or legs and his friends knocked on for him asking his mam if he is coming out to play armies. His mam replies saying that he can’t play armies because he has no arms or legs. His friends say I know he isnt actually playing we are using him as a sandbag.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major

What is your arms favorite military branch? The army.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, im hit! I think I’ve lost an electron! Are you sure? Asks the other. Im positive!

This one as actually physics(unlike some other joke here, ahem cough cough)

Don’t make Iran jokes my mom died by an rocket lancer, She was the best Sharpe shorter in the Iran army.

why was the roman soldier kicked out of the army- because he was romin around during war

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledores army?

Because at one point poisonous gases where put in it

Where did the king hide his armies? In his sleevies.

Worst joke ever.

where does caesar keep his armies up his sleavies