Army jokes

What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.

Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.

Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.

What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A flat major.

Gay people would suck at war.

Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?

He got caught playing with his Privates!

Where did the king put his armies?

In his sleevies.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"

Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"

Officer: "Ok!"

*silence*

*explosion*

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.

Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.

Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?

Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.

Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"

"Are you sure?" asks the other.

"I'm positive!"

Where did the king hide his armies?

In his sleevies.

Worst joke ever.

What did the Army soldier say after he got his legs fixed?

Afgan-I-Stand.

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.

What do you call an autistic kid with a minigun?

Special forces.