Army jokes
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
Where did the king hide his armies?
In his sleevies.
Worst joke ever.
Where did the king put his armies?
In his sleevies.
someone explain these options to me
Officer: "Stay back soldiers, minefield!"
Soldier: "Let's clear the field!"
Officer: "Ok!"
*silence*
*explosion*
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.
Me: Cool, what rank of officer?
Jim: SS.
Me:...
Why are white teenagers the best for the army? They are good at shooting things up.
What do you call a Russian rifle that went 1 rank down?
An AK-46.
Stephen Hawking can't stand for army.
What does Army stand for?
Ain't Ready to be a Marine Yet.
Gay people would suck at war.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Chuck Norris didn't join the army, the army joined Chuck Norris.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Comment and join Dumbledore's army in the community to give someone you hate permanent bad luck.