You jokes

"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"

"To the morgue."

"But I'm not dead yet!"

"But we're not there yet."

Woman: What’s a good comeback for my sexist husband when he tells me to go make him a sandwich?

Husband: I know! How about you COMEBACK with a goddamn sandwich?

Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?

I heard it was because of pier pressure.

If you see a woman get raped, don't bother helping. After all, they are independent and need no man.

Cheer on the rapist if you want.

What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts.

What do you call nuts on the wall? Walnuts.

What do you call nuts on your chin? A blowjob.

When you have a bladder infection,

You're in trouble. 😜

What did Luke Skywalker say when he saw someone bullying his sister?

You better not lay a finger on her!

Don’t worry if you have a stroke.

You’ll be all right.

What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE

Why is sex like math?

You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there’s no multiplying.

How many babies does it take to paint a wall?

Depends how hard you throw them.

Robin: "The car's not working."

Batman: "Did you check the battery?"

Robin: "What's a tery?"

If you bet on Russian roulette, even if you win, you still lose.

Hookers are like drive-thrus; you tell them what you want, pay for your stuff, and leave.

Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Shrek is ugly, but not uglier than you.

What do snow and friends have in common? If you pee on them, they disappear.

Have you heard of the Tic-Tac-Toe Beetle? It has an X-O-skeleton.

You call it a burning orphanage. I call it FNAF lore.

A man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks, "Where'd you get that lovely thing?"

"Africa," the parrot replied.