Where would a snowman ☃️ go on his days off of work?
Snowhere.
Suicide won't work, I'm already dead inside
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? -- She was fed up with the hole business.
So this dude comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still cant cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still cant f*ck."
What do orphans and police not have in common
The police can actually go home
Do you mix concrete for a living? Because you’re making me hard.
God my dad got so pissed during 9/11.
All that work wasted.
Little Johny sits on a chair. He notices he is sitting on something, Then he sees a plastic di##. He asks his mom whats that and mom didnt now. so when his dad comes home from work he sees him with the plastick di## and says son why uy messing with my personal toy
She said you can twerk so I put her in a tractor and put her to work, she got mad at me and said "there's no good men" but I gave her a kob and equal pay!
When i was at work i say this kid crying i said where are your parents. God i love working in a orphanage
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
Employer: Can you preform under pressure? Me: No, but i do a pretty good Bohemian Rhapsody.
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I work with animals!! What do you do? I’m a butcher
I can't believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean... All I did was take a day off!
I Copied my friends work It's not like the teacher can tell my parent's
Dads secretary left her position, he tole me I could take it if I want it. He also told me the job pays well but there is a lot to catch up on. He kept me under the pump all week.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said "how sick?". I said "well I'm in bed with my 12 year old sister".
Why did the gym close down? -- It just didn't work out.
