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Fat

Anonymous

I’d make a joke about an obese person, but it won’t work out.

Toilet

Mini Marshmallow

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil

Difference

smartass

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, “I’ll tell you about what you saw yesterday, you know Dad has a big belly and that’s why mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat.” . Says that little boy: “But mama, that does not make any difference.” “Oh no?” the mom asks. “No,” says the little boy, “When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and sheblows his belly up again!”

Puns

The pun master

Robin: The cars not working Batman: Did you check the battery Robin: Whats a tery

Legs

Anonymous

If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it. Works they be kicking or hitting you?

Depression

Greengrass

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. … I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

Bank

HaHa Funny Joke

I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.

So I pushed her over.

Orphan

Anonymous

Why can’t orphans work at S.C johnson

Cause it’s a family company 🤣

Friend

Rosa_Jokes

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work… We were able to lift his coffin.

Dad

Anonymous

A kid gets home from school and find his mom and dad having sex, the kid asks “what are you doing dad” the dad replies “having sex with your mom son” and he starts laughing The next day dad gets home from work and finds his son having sex with his nan, the dad shouts “what the hell are you doing son” the kid replies " it’s not funny when it’s your mom is it"

Sister

LikeaNinja

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guys boss called to ask why he wasn’t at work. The guy responds, "I’m sick" His boss replies, "you don’t sound sick" The guy says, “I’m fucking my sister” and hangs up the phone

Puns

Hannan Janjuaa

Joke:Why did the gym close down? – It just didn’t work out.

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Shooting

Anonymous

God: ok so I created adults. And I created how they are supposed to look like from being born to preteen. Satan:(slides in) I’ll take over for you pops. God: I dunno….this is very delicate work. Just one wrong thing can ruin the system. Satan: don’t worry your beard off! (Pats his back) I’ll just do the ages from 12 to 18! God: Hmm…I’m still not-(Gets a call on his phone) shoot I got to take this. (Answers call) don’t touch anything Lucifer! (Walks away) Satan:…….(just touches lightly and alarms start blaring. He squeaks and runs away) God:(rushes in) WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?!?! God:(tries fixing problems. Only gets alarms off) fuck me……… God:….(sighs) fine it’ll stay. We’ll just call it….puberty

Teacher

Overcome, change adapt

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn’t like it if we don’t work on math in his class. So I did science homework on top of a math book

Puns

Sans is Cool

How much work does a skeleton get done? A SKELE-TON

Car

Anonymous

Q; Why don’t cars work after you change their wheels?

A: Because they’re retired

Man

Anonymous

A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is’ The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock

Orphan

Anonymous

Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company

Friend

ROSA_Jokes

A friend of mine used to be morbidly obese, but after lots of exercise and hard work… We were able to lift his coffin.

America

Kanye West

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

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