Work Jokes

Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu.. off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

Error code 404 "Will to live" not found

Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working

If a midget with down syndrome shows up late for work, is it okay to say she's a little tardy?

I was working in a IPhone store in Norwich, when an man came! He said "Give me hat-trick or i will destroy your store!" I said "No" and he started to smash phones! I imidiatelly screamed "Important game" and he disappeared! Shame on you penaldo for ruining my store! 😡😡

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I GOT a job as a pencil sharpener I would tell you about it but you wouldn't get the point.

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" the blind guy responds with "No I don't wanna tell it that many times.

I started beating my washing machine beacause it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

Sans: wow. seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

I told kids to make a family tree. God, I love working at the orphanages.

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. ... I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

Imagine working at the World Trade Center only for Osama bin Laden to call and ask if he could crash at your place

A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."