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Orphan

Anonymous

i saw a little kid crying yesterday, so i asked him where his parents were. God i love working at an orphanage

Puns

BadAtJokes

i use to work at a calendar factory but i got fired because i missed a few days

People

Anya

I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.

Orphan

Anonymous

Once I saw A girl crying and asked where are your parents; God I love working at orphanages.

Fat

Matt G

A blind man walks into a bar, and asks the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bartender replies with, “I’m blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde.” Then says “Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?” the blind guy responds with "No I don’t wanna tell it that many times.

Depression

Anonymouse

Error code 404 "Will to live" not found

Smileandtalk.exe has stopped working

Help

Anonymous

Why do Midgets work at Tesco because every little helps

Man

an a......

When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker’s circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his driver (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking.

“I have an idea, boss,” his driver said. “I’ve heard you give this speech so many times. I’ll bet I could give it for you.” Einstein laughed loudly and said, “Why not? Let’s do it!”

When they arrived at the dinner, Einstein donned the driver’s cap and jacket and sat in the back of the room. The driver gave a beautiful rendition of Einstein’s speech and even answered a few questions expertly.

Then a supremely pompous professor asked an extremely esoteric question about anti-matter formation, digressing here and there to let everyone in the audience know that he was nobody’s fool. Without missing a beat, the driver fixed the professor with a steely stare and said, “Sir, the answer to that question is so simple that I will let my driver, who is sitting in the back, answer it for me.”

Wife

Lachaz

Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamuswife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."

Bone

Anonymous

Sans: wow. seems you’re really working yourself… down to the bone!

Help

Kamikaze

After work, i volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.

Dwarf

Meme

So I was going out the door and I see me dwarf neighbour at the bus stop, I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with fu… off. So I zip up my backpack and keep going to work

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Sally

Anonymous

Why didn’t Sally get home from work.

She got hit by a bus

Orphan

Austin Warner

why can’t orphans work at S.C Johnson

Cause it’s a family Company

Date

Anonymous

at a date : he: i work with animals everyday me: oh how sweet!what do you do? he:I’m a butcher

Cow

Anonymous

Why do cows wear bells? – Because their horns don’t work.

Twin Towers

Hi

September 11 bring your plane to work day

Best

Kanye West

After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.

Little Johnny

[REDACTED]

At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.” Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”

Woman

Big Boss Tom

Woman one: I got so mad at my GPS today that I told it to go to hell! Woman two: Did that work? Woman one: Well, it took me to my in-laws’ house.

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