Me walking in to the office: Principle: tell me what u did? Me: I told the special ed kid that the 4th story window was a end portal....
What is the one kind of work orphans don’t know, homework.
The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her "Don't worry I used to work with kids."
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.
Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.
Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.
Why cant orphans work at S.C Johnson?
Because its a family company...
Q: How do you know a wishing well works? A: If your mother-in-law falls down it
Someone who was working in the tower must’ve put their phone on plane mode
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation the man yelled. FREE DISHWASHER!
After work, i volunteer to help blind children. Verb, not adjective.
So we were working with a new client at work and my boss farts, he said "a little gas never killed anyone
Doctor : what makes you feel depressed? Me: I used to work at the word trade centre, before the plane hit. Doctor: a lot of people fell to pieces after that.
Why didn't Sally get home from work.
She got hit by a bus
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them-hope marie lawson
A husband comes home from work one day and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
I used to suffer from depression but through hard work, persistence, and never giving up..
I now suffer from anxiety aND depression :\
After a long day of work, Kanye West goes to his Kanye Nest to take his Kanye Rest. He wakes up feeling his Kanye Best. Then he’ll get Kanye Dressed on his Kanye Vest to go on a Kanye Quest. He goes to church and becomes Kanye Blessed, then to a hotel room to be a Kanye Guest.
I got fired from my job today at a banana factory. They said to throw away the bad ones so I throwaway the bent ones
I asked a kid at my work where his parents were. He started crying. Man, I don't know what I did. I'll ask another kid at the orphanage.
why cant orphans work a McDonalds ? cause they call their employees family
