Work Jokes

When you go to an orphanage for a field trip: When the workers said, "I remember you as a kid."

Why was the man fired from a calendar factory? He took a day off.

I refuse to believe my dad got fired as a road worker for theft. But when I came home, there were signs everywhere.

Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.

I was working in an iPhone store in Norwich when a man came! He said, "Give me a hat-trick or I will destroy your store!" I said, "No," and he started to smash phones! I immediately screamed, "Important game!" and he disappeared! Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my store! 😡😡

The top half of the image shows a sign that reads "Employees Must Wash anus" with a symbol of hands washing. Below the sign is a cartoon character with a serious expression. At the bottom of the image is the text "Good soldiers follow orders."

Father and mother are making love in the bedroom. Mother is on top of father. Suddenly, the son enters the bedroom. Everyone is embarrassed, of course.

The next morning, the mother takes the little boy aside and says, "I'll tell you about what you saw yesterday. You know, Dad has a big belly, and that's why Mom sometimes sits on top of that belly to push it flat." The little boy says, "But Mama, that does not make any difference." "Oh no?" the mom asks. "No," says the little boy, "When you go to work, the neighbor comes, and she puts herself on her knees for Dad, and she blows his belly up again!"

What is burned dark and glued to the wall?

A bad electrician.

Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?

For throwing out the W's.

I got a job as a pencil sharpener. I would tell you about it, but you wouldn't get the point.

A blind man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bartender replies with, "I'm blonde, the man working next to me is blonde, the woman next to you is blonde, and the fat guy behind you is blonde." Then says, "Do you really wanna tell the blonde joke?" The blind guy responds with, "No, I don't wanna tell it that many times."

A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."

I started beating my washing machine because it wasn't working, my wife started crying.

I just quit my job at a can crushing factory.

It was soda-pressing.

I used to work at a calendar factory, but I got fired because I missed a few days.

Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!

You want to hear a dirty joke?

This guy and this girl were having sex when the guy's boss called to ask why he wasn't at work. The guy responds, "I'm sick." His boss replies, "You don't sound sick." The guy says, "I'm fucking my sister" and hangs up the phone.