Work jokes

I make many jokes about jobless people, but none of them are working.

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Wanna hear a construction joke?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

Bro, you ever think while driving the moped why they call it a footrest when the foot never lets it rest? The foot is working harder than the engine. You push, push, but still go the same speed like a turtle with a bad mood during a rabbit race...

I saw a little kid crying because he was lost. I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

God, I love working in an orphanage!

So a kid was crying... I asked him what was wrong.

I LOVE WORKING AT AN ORPHANAGE!

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"

I work at a movie studio.

Unfortunately, the team I was working with was useless.

The team:

I worked at a calendar factory, but I got the sack for taking a few days off!

What's another place orphans can't work at besides SC Johnson?

The Home Depot.

Interviewer: What are your strengths?

Interviewee: I fall in love easily.

Interviewer: And your weaknesses?

Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...

Why do people hit their electronics when they don’t work?

You keep the tradition of hitting black things.

I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪

I have many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.

Inside a room full of squares, buckets, and tints, there are two inspectors. One is called Mr. Right, the other one is called Mr. Wrong. Because of their names, the first one is trusted more than the second one.

Mr. Wrong eventually got tired of that and worked on a plan for how more people could trust him. He took a jigsaw and he started to cut into his brain and sawed away half of his brain. It was still working.

Then he took a loaf of toast, cut it into half and glued it on his head, and then he made a strawberry cream and sprayed it on the toast. Because people couldn't recognize him as "Mr. Wrong," he was able to solve more cases.

I used to work at a T-shirt factory before the company folded.

How does a booty stay in shape?

It works its glutes off!

The first time you have a new phone, you have a different one. You can change your phone to a new phone, but it doesn’t change the phone, it’s just different. I think it will work. I just think it would look good, and then it would work, but you don’t know if it’s the right thing for the new one. You just know it’s the wrong. It’s a bad phone. It’s a new thing. It’s the same for different every day, but it doesn’t look, and I think so it’s not a good, but it works, so it’s different, so it’s different for the new phone, and it doesn’t have to work on it. It doesn’t matter to the same for you know it’s just the one but it doesn’t have the one that I can do a lot better and I can just use my new one, but it is not that the new iPhone, so you have the one that’s the other is that I have the same thing and it’s the same phone, but I have to get the new iPhone. I just want it and then you have a good and it’s a different number so it’s just like so it’s just one, but you know it’s not like I have the new iPhone so you know it’s just one so it’s a little more than just the one and it will get the new phone so it’s just easier and cheaper for the money but it won’t cost much more to pay off your car than to get the phone for the next two weeks weeks or even two years to to have the car car fixed so it’s easier and quicker and I will be happy I’m happy happy I’m so excited excited thank y all and I will talk soon and have you have an update as to the results soon thank ya again so far hope all goes all are good hope to be in your class today love and have you been in your dreams hope all your day too bye.

Jackhammer McQueerson