Wordplay jokes
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What zodiac sign has no hair?
Cancer.
Aren't paraplegics just plegics that can fly?
What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ.
Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What did the Asian parents say when they had a disabled kid?
Sum ting wong.
I love eating pussy. That’s why the animal shelter is always my go-to for a good meal.
Spell Mississippi.
M-I-S-S-I-P-P~
Haha you said pp.
What do cats eat for breakfast?
"Mice Krispies!"
Why did Steven Hawking have no friends?
He couldn’t stand anyone...
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What do you call 4 Mexicans stuck in quick sand?
Quatro Sinco.
What do you call an Afghan in the bath? A bath bomb.
What do you call an Indian in a Lamborghini?
CURRY in a hurry.
What do you call a Twinkie with two pairs of pants?
Double trousers.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Why are fish easy to measure?
Because they bring their own scales.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.