Wordplay jokes

Q) What do you call Iron Man when he can't swim?

A) Robert Drowney Jr.

There was a race between Lettuce, a faucet, and Ketchup. The lettuce was a-head, the faucet was still running, and the ketchup was trying to ketchup.

I'd like to relish the fact that you've mustered up the courage to ketchup to my level.

It's better to cum in the sink than to sink in the cum.

What kind of bagel can fly?

A plain.

What do you call an apple that fell out of the tree?

An orphan.

What do you call an idiotic cow?

A mis-steak!

Confucius say:

"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."

What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?

Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.

I don't always roll a joint, but when I do, it's my ankle.

Ok guys, I have one last joke (for now).

What do you call it when Panera is over?

Panera end.

What's white and rhymes with Dre? Eminem.

I tried to come up with a funny pun about squirrels, but all my ideas were nuts.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Dumplin.

Dumplin who?

Dumplin the killer.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person? "What's bringing you down?"

My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."

I would tell a scoliosis joke.

But that would be completely out of line.

I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair. 😎

How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce "unionized".