Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, “Hey, Don’t finish yourself until I get back.” After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. “Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!” Gary turns to him and says, “I didn’t, I farted.”

Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic? Because dead babies make the best cum

There’s no I in sex but there’s a U in cum

What is Sophia’s favourite song

Open wide cum inside it is okay school

whats the difference between a zit and a catholic priest?
a zit will wait til 12 before it cums on your face.

Why is Santa’s sack so big?
He only cums once a year.

Was gonna make a gay joke butt f...… Cum on guys

why does santa not have any children he only cums once a year

Got head from a girl with down syndrome. She wouldn’t let me cum in her mouth, so I busted my nut on the windows… Nature will take its course.

The priest wantes the little boy to touch his cross the boy said its hard then it shot out holy water and the priest said come again and taste the second cumming of jesus lmao

One day whilst walking up a hill, Jack saw a prostitute named Jill. Jill was dressed in kinky, leather gear that made Jack really really horny. Jack who hadn’t stuck it in for a few weeks was keen to ask this sexy young maiden how much she would charge. “1 buck for a suck, 2 buck for a f...” she said as she stroked his ever hardening one-eyed snake. “Yeah, i’ll have both of them” said Jack who was about to cum in his trousers. So Jill led Jack to behind the well, and they sucked and f...ed for an hour. After that they both contracted AIDS, and died of it as they did not see a doctor. THE END

your face with my cum

Why do pedophiles never cum first. Because they like to cum in a little behind.

What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?


What’s the difference between a priest and a zit? A: One waits until you’re twelve to cum on your face.

How do you get a hippie chick pregnant? You cum on her feet and let the flies do the rest

Whats the difference between acne and a Catholic priest ? Acne doesn’t cum on a kids face til their 13 or 14

Which came first the chicken or the egg…

Eggs don’t cum

why did brandon’s mum chase him with a knife because he dident let her cum first

What’s the difference between a zit and a priest, The zit waits tell your 12 to cum on your face

A Boy asked his Dad : « Why didn’t you make love with my mom daddy ? » Dad : « Because I’m gay »

Son started making out with his daddy and sucking his daddy’s big peepee

Son : « W- Wait a minute… So how did i exist if you didn’t make love with my mom if you’re not straight ? » Dad : « Because you are not real and i didn’t even have a wife »

The Son Waked Up from his horrible nightmare And He looked so scared, he did leave his bed to check out his dad but he didn’t find his dad, until his dad entered the house and he said to his son : « Why you did look so worried I’m just bringing some food for breakfast » Son : « Well but why your hands is full of cum ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) » Dad : « Because i did it with you last night i did you forgot … » Son : « But it was a nightmare … »

Dad turns into a monster

Dad : « I’m your nightmare »

The Son waked up and he seemed too scared and he found himself beside his dad torturing him after he discovered he’s gay.

The Son with himself: « Wake up btch wake up btch !!! »


Why did the turkey suck my bacon because it wanted cum in its mouth

What do you call a fat bitch that eats cum from used condoms??? Your mom!!!