Pay Jokes

My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore, so I sent him a card, "Get well soon."

How much does a pirate pay for corn?

A buccaneer!

Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.

So I meet with a therapist on a weekly basis, we talk about my depression and how it's been getting worse. Recently, I've been advised about my condition, and how I've been discussing to her about being suicidal, she's been very helpful throughout it, I was even told I can pay in advance from now on, so I don't have to worry about it later.

I am still trying to figure out why paying the covid doctors a complement is so offensive. They even kicked me out and all I said was to stay positive...

I was horrified when my wife told me that my six-year-old son wasn't actually mine. Apparently I need to pay more attention during school pick-up.

They said I was depressed, I should make an effort to do what I love. I had to pay a hooker for, twelve hours work. ... I felt nothing, but its was nice, being with someone who felt the same.

So I heard the CEO gave her daughter a really good spot in the company. Everyone is mad but I think it just goes to show that it pays to sleep with your boss.

Have you heard about the guy whose friends teased him because he pays for sex? He doesnt pay anymore.

Y did Steven hawking die he didn’t pay his electricity bills

My best friend is transgender; she transitioned from a man into a woman. I think it's courageous of her to take a pay cut like that.

Why did hitler kill himself?

He didn’t want to pay the gas bill

The IRS hates when you don't have to pay your taxes with this one mind-blowing trick