Woman jokes
A drunk walks into a bar and sees a beautiful woman at the other end of the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that douchebag a drink."
The bartender says, "You can't talk like that! This is a respectable establishment, I'm going to throw you out!"
The drunk says, "Okay, I'm sorry. I'd like to buy the lady a drink."
The bartender goes to where the woman is sitting and says, "The, ah, gentleman at the end of the bar would like to buy you a drink, what will it be?"
She says, "Vinegar and water."
Jon said: What do you call a pregnant woman?
Mike said: I don’t know, what?
Jon said: Kinder surprise.
How can you tell that a woman is asking for sex? Wait for her to drop a bomb on you.
I like my COVID like I like my women: 19 and easy to spread.
Woman: Will you love me after marriage as well?
Man: That will depend on your husband. If he will, so of course I would!
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
Why do women love Chinese food? Because WON TON spelled backward is NOT NOW!
I like my coffee like I like my women.
Women will always be superior to men. After all, they are FEmale (Fe - iron, male - man).
What would Hitler be called if he abused women? Hither!
So, I was in the church the other day, raping this woman, when she screamed, 'Please! Think of my children!' I said, 'Ooo, you kinky bitch.'
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
I like my women like I like my coffee.
Dark, rich, and imported.
What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?
At least one has a point.
If you look for something for 10 days and a woman walks in, opens a cabinet, and finds it:
So, just hire a female pope for the Holy Grail that has been missing for 500 years so she just opens a cabinet and she finds it.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Why are there no women in the NFL?
Commissioner Roger Goodell firmly believes in equal opportunity, so the girl tries out. Then, if she makes the team, we gangbang her to death. I mean, could you imagine what a scary birch she'd have to be?
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
Okay, guys. Today we're gonna read the Women's Rights of 1920...
Okay, thanks for watching!
Why did God steal a rib from Adam and make a woman out of it?
God wanted to show that nothing sensible can come of stealing!