What did the football coach say when he went to the bank? -“I want my quarter back.”

What’s the difference between England’s football team and a tea bag?

The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex… I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.

So there was a kid named Bobby, and he was writing notes. He asked his mother, who was on a phone call, what is one plus one? She said I HATE YOU. Then he asked his brother what is 2 + 2, who was watching a Batman movie, said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! Then he asked his dad what is 4 plus 4, who was playing football, said 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he asked his sister 8+8, (she was playing with barbies), and she said, My buns are burning. Then he went to school and told her teacher the first note he wrote down. The teacher sent him to the principal’s office. The principal yelled, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! Bobby said, NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU NU BATMAN! The principal yelled, HOW MANY SPANKINGS DO YOU WANT?! Then he said, 85 SMACK EM DOWN! Then he walked away from the principal’s office and said, my buns are burning.

what is al-qaeda’s favorite football team? the new york jets

What is Osama bin Laden’s favorite football team?

The New York Jets

A guy wins a free ticket to the Super Bowl and so he’s very excited.

However, he’s not so excited when he gets there and realizes his seat’s in the back of the stadium.

So he looks around him for a better seat, and to his surprise he finds an empty seat right next to the field.

He approaches the older guy who’s sitting in the seat next to the empty one and asks if the seat is taken.

The man replies, “No.”

The young guy is very surprised to hear this and asks, “How could someone pass up a seat like this?”

The older guy replies, “It’s my wife’s seat. We’ve been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she’s passed away.”

“Oh, how sad,” the young guy says, taken aback. “I’m sorry to hear that, but couldn’t you find a friend or relative to come with you?”

“No,” the man replies, “They’re all at the funeral.”

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Uriah. Uriah who? Keep Uriah on the ball Laquon Treadwell!

22 ants were playing football in a saucer. One ant said to another one, “We’ll have to play better tomorrow. We’re playing in the cup!”

Q: Why doesn’t Toledo have a professional football team? A: Because then, Cincinnati would want one.

What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common? You were bloody and battered but at least you’re dad came.

Why didn’t the skeleton play football?

His heart wasn’t in it!!

There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt… Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t

Did you hear the score in the Eqypt vs Ethiopia football game? Eqypt 8, Ethiopia didn’t

what was sally’s role in a football game?

the football ;-;

WHAT BURNS UP A FOOTBALL STADIUM??? A FOOTBALL ’ MATCH ’

Whats a Horses faviroute Football player? NEIGH-mar!

Why did the football coach go too the bank? To get his quarterback!

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.

They had great seats right behind their teams bench.

After the game the guy asked his girlfriend how she liked the experience.

“Oh, I really liked it!” she replied, “Especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.”

Dumbfounded, her boyfriend asked, “What do you mean?”

She said, “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!’ I’m like, hellooooo! It’s only 25 cents!”

What was the winning play at the leper football game?

A hand off up the middle.

Loading...