Woman jokes
90 percent of women kiss with their eyes closed, which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
As a son, I am so worried about the phone call message that my mom got from a member of The CDC. It was on speaker, so me and mom both hear. The message told my mom that she needs to personally isolate because two of the new symptoms is having big titties and a great personality.
Yesterday, I was babysitting this woman's child. Everything was going perfectly.
I got hungry and called the mother. I asked if she wanted the baby back ribs I was cooking, but she said she didn't want any.
When she arrived she started screaming and ran to her child. I don't see why she was so upset, she said she didn't want any.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
Why does a woman never set boundaries with a Mexican? Cause they will always cross it.
If a woman says she needs to set boundaries between you and her, you would be crossing it if you are a Mexican.
How do you rape a feminist? Tell her you are a woman and she will let you do whatever. You won't even need to force it.
Why does Joe Biden call women muffins?
'Cause muffins backwards is sniffum.
Your friend walks up to you and shows you a picture of an overweight woman.
What would you rate this woman?
A 7.
Why?
Because 7 ate 9!
Violence against women is funny :)
What do women and screen doors have in common? The more you bang them, the looser they get.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a pregnant emo girl?
The emo girl still bleeds.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.
What’s the difference between a WNBA player and a rotten apple? The apple has a chance to make it into the basket.
They say mistakes make you stronger. If that were true, then whoever made that nonexistent thing called “women's rights” would have muscles bigger than a white girl.
Whenever a woman files a rape accusation, it’s obviously fake. Even the cows at my farm are more likely, at least they aren’t flat.
If I grew a nanometer taller for every 2/10 woman expecting a 6’3”+ guy, I would be considered attractive.💀
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).