When jokes

Your mom is so fat that when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed, but the sidewalk cracked up.

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.

What happens when Rick Astley is getting an erection whilst singing "Never Gonna Give You Up"?

You get PRICKrolled.

What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?

Panera dread.

Where does the orphan go when he's done with school? To the cemetery.

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

What did the short Chinese man say when he was called a dwarf? "Da fok yu sai tu meee."

What do you say when you see your TV floating away at night?

"Drop it, Jamal!"

When the quiet kid has an argument with the school shooter, and you didn't get to pull out the AK.

My mum once told me, "How do you spell Mississippi?" and I said, "Misisipi." But she said, "No, it goes mi-ss-i-ss-pp-i," and I laughed when she said "pp." Then she said, "Why are you laughing?" I tried saying, "You said pp," but I was laughing too hard.

What 7 letters do you say when you open the fridge and see it’s empty?

O I C U R M T

When does a doctor get mad?

When he runs out of patients!

What did Batman do when he went shopping?

Got ham!

What is a cup called when they show a ton of emotions?

Answer: Expresso! (KILL MEH)

When the US Army found Chinese soldiers selling secrets to China, they said, "Looks like we have some chinks in our armor."

I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣

yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."

When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!