When jokes
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
what's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? the trampoline doesn't cave in when i jump on it.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
I heard that to slow the growth of fire, you use a flame retardant.
So I threw my stupid son in the flames when my house caught on fire!
It's telling that Ye gets more offended when he's called a gayfish than a Nazi.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
Why don't catholic kids lose their virginity in their 20's?
Because they lost it to a priest when they were 5
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
This dwarf was being mean to me, so I said, "When you get home, I hope Snow White kicks the shit out of you."
When the school shooter breaks into your classroom, so you try to say goodbye to your Roblox gf, but then the shooter's phone goes off.
What did one shoe say to the other shoe when they were fighting?
I wanna sock you in the eye so bad!
What did the processor say when it was being overclocked?
"Stop it! It hertz so much!"
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
I was laughing my ass off when the 12-year-old child realized the door to my basement was unlocked, and he didn't need to cannibalize his two friends in a desperate attempt for survival. 🤣🤣🤣
yo mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale it told her "I wanted your weight not your phone number."
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
When Elsa said, "Let it go," you took it too seriously and let go of your hairline.
When someone says you're adopted, say, "But you're still at the orphanage."